When I embarked on sharing my journey of recovery from an eating disorder on Instagram, I never anticipated facing backlash for it. My aim has always been to cultivate an online community that prioritizes safety and inclusivity. The overwhelmingly positive feedback I’ve received indicates that I’ve made significant strides in this direction. Aligned with the foundational principles of the body-positivity movement, I advocate passionately for the rights and dignity of every individual, regardless of how society perceives their body. I openly challenge fatphobia, celebrate living authentically in a larger body, and strive to dismantle the stigma surrounding mental health and trauma recovery.
Through this journey, I’ve come to understand that even the most well-intentioned messages can be misconstrued. While I anticipated some resistance from health critics, I never imagined that sharing my painful experiences in a thinner body would lead to accusations of skinny shaming. Yet, that is precisely what transpired.
Last month, I posted a side-by-side photo of myself: one from my youth, struggling with body dysmorphia and extreme dieting, and another showcasing my current self, proudly embracing the larger body I’ve worked hard to love over the past three years. My intention was to subvert the conventional “before and after” weight loss narratives, illustrating that I’ve come to recognize my intrinsic worth and value, regardless of societal standards.
“I once lived for a flat stomach and a slender physique,” I wrote. “I believed that gaining weight signified weakness and failure… I restricted my eating to the point where the idea of listening to my body’s needs felt unbearable… I harshly judged anyone in a larger body. Ironically, I viewed myself as larger while enduring painful thinness.”
I emphasized that my time in a slim body was filled with discomfort and dissatisfaction, always striving for more weight loss. Everything shifted when I gained 75 pounds following two pregnancies. “Today, I feel completely at ease in my current body; the notions of weight loss or restrictive eating are out of the question,” I shared. “I love my larger body fiercely, and I refuse to compromise that love. My body may look different from its past, but I am incredibly grateful for it.”
The primary motivation behind my post was to inspire others grappling with body acceptance to challenge the societal norms that cultivate self-hatred. I crafted my message for the younger version of myself, who never believed she could be appreciated or respected in a larger body. I wanted to shed light on the struggles faced by many women like me who silently battle eating disorders, and to encourage positive visibility regarding recovery.
However, one woman interpreted my post differently and accused me of skinny shaming. Her comment rocked me to the core. “Do you not think you’re shaming those who are slim like you once were? Do you honestly believe that our happiness hinges on our weight?”
This was a lot to process. Typically, I would delete negative comments, but I chose to reach out to her privately, reminding her of my “no hate” policy on Instagram. I encouraged her to follow my page only if it brought her joy, and I expressed my curiosity about why she felt I was shaming anyone simply by sharing my truth.
What followed was a transformative conversation. After some initial discomfort, the woman began to open up and share her own struggles with living in a state of debilitating thinness—not due to self-destructive behavior, but from a sincere desire to gain weight. She confided that she often shops in children’s clothing sections, a reluctant admission that highlighted her challenges. Seeing me advocate for body positivity in a larger body stirred feelings of envy within her.
I’m grateful I persisted in the conversation, as it led to a deeper understanding between us. After several days of messaging, she allowed me to share our exchange on Instagram. In a video to my followers, I explained how I addressed her initial perception of discrimination in my post. I emphasized the critical distinction between the internal shame felt in a thin body and the societal shame associated with larger bodies. While her feelings were valid, it was vital to recognize that living in a thin body comes with certain privileges in a world that marginalizes larger bodies.
It’s one thing to battle self-hatred due to the pressures of diet culture, but it’s entirely different to endure the stigma of a body that society deems unacceptable. Once I clarified this distinction, she began to see the broader picture, and I’m thankful for that.
While I don’t plan to engage in endless discussions with everyone who misinterprets my journey, I’m glad I took the time with this individual. It’s essential for those in thin bodies, particularly white women, to expand their perspectives and recognize the harsh judgments faced by individuals in larger bodies. Regardless of personal experiences, it’s crucial to understand the challenges that come with body size and the societal pressures that underpin them.
If you’re wondering how to be an ally to those in larger bodies, I have a few recommendations. Reflect on your assumptions about a larger person’s self-care. Delve into the fatphobic origins of diet culture. Acknowledge the privileges that come with living in a slim body. Explore the alarming statistics affecting youth today, who are inheriting society’s toxic fixation on thinness. Stand up for and support individuals in your community facing prejudice. Most importantly, work on nurturing a positive relationship with your own body, regardless of size.
Until I lost my thin privilege, I had no awareness of its existence. Now, my mission is clear: to advocate for marginalized bodies and individuals. I invite you to join me in challenging the profit-driven narratives that divide us. Let’s consider the revolutionary step of rejecting the institutions that seek to keep us apart.
And remember, if you feel compelled to criticize, take a moment to reflect on the reasons behind those feelings.
For more insights, check out this article on the journey of body acceptance. For expert information, visit this resource on pregnancy and explore this authority on babywearing.
Summary:
This article discusses the author’s experience with accusations of skinny shaming after sharing her journey toward body acceptance on Instagram. By recounting her struggles with body image and the subsequent backlash she faced, the author highlights the complexities of societal standards surrounding body size. The post emphasizes the importance of understanding the privilege that comes with being in a thinner body and encourages readers to become allies for individuals in larger bodies by challenging societal norms and fostering positive body images.