From the months of March to October, I’m that engaging mom everyone wants to be around. I host backyard barbecues, organize bonfire nights with marshmallows for the neighborhood kids, manage carpools for soccer, and lead PTA bake sales. I even whip up Jell-O shots for the parents during Halloween. I actively participate in Girl Scout events and genuinely enjoy these moments, often forgetting to share them on social media.
However, when November arrives, daylight saving time feels like a personal nightmare. This is when my seasonal affective disorder (SAD) rears its head, transforming me into a version of myself I hardly recognize. My husband is often puzzled by my sudden fatigue, and my daughter frequently asks, “Why is Mom always upset?” and “Does Mommy need a nap?”
Approximately 6% of the U.S. population, especially those in northern regions, is impacted by SAD, while an additional 14% experience milder seasonal mood fluctuations known as the winter blues. For me, SAD manifests in irritability and a profound sense of fatigue. Even the simplest tasks, like folding laundry, feel overwhelming. Getting out of bed can feel like an insurmountable challenge, and there are days when my husband has to take over all the responsibilities.
Then comes the wave of self-criticism. Why can’t I just manage? My daughter deserves a mother who can make her lunch and ensure she has breakfast before school. My husband deserves a partner who isn’t asleep by 8:30 p.m. each night, someone who can engage in conversation or go out for a date instead of napping. I often feel like I’m failing.
Winter should be a time of joy, festivities, and cheer, but for me, it signals the onset of my most challenging period. Here are some important insights I want you to understand about living with SAD:
1. We’re putting in a tremendous effort.
I want my 9-year-old to remain blissfully unaware of how challenging it is for me to accomplish daily tasks like showering or brushing my teeth. When the alarm goes off, I drag myself downstairs, hoping that coffee will provide me with the energy I need before I can retreat back to bed for a nap. Normally, I take pride in my appearance—dressing nicely and wearing makeup during school pickups. However, in winter, I find myself in comfy leggings and oversized shirts, struggling to find the motivation to look any different. But I am trying to appear capable. I may not always seem engaged, but I’m present for school pickups, I ensure dinner is made each night, and I make sure homework gets done. By 8 p.m., I feel as if I’ve run a marathon, but I’m still trying.
2. Patience is crucial.
I genuinely don’t want to be this way. I don’t want to snap at my daughter when helping her with math or feel overwhelmed by a pile of dirty dishes. I don’t want to have panic attacks when planning family gatherings or spend entire days in bed. Please remember that people with SAD can’t just “snap out of it.” Like everyone else, we want to savor life’s moments—we desire it deeply.
3. Self-care is essential.
For me, self-care involves taking multivitamins and a hefty dose of vitamin D each morning. It also means sitting by a light therapy lamp for a few hours each day. I make it a point to attend my noon CrossFit class, no matter what. That hour of lifting weights and the encouragement from my CrossFit community often gives me the endorphins I need to tackle the rest of the day. Self-care can look different for everyone—it might include medication, yoga, or dietary changes. What matters is that we find healthy ways to navigate through our SAD struggles.
4. Improvement is possible.
I eagerly await the arrival of spring and the return of daylight saving time. While most parents might lament losing an hour of sleep, I cherish the sunlight streaming in through my windows and the extended daylight. I begin to feel excited about activities like afternoon soccer practices and family adventures in the park. I even contemplate inviting neighborhood girls over for a sleepover. My energy returns, and the need for an afternoon nap disappears. It’s easy to lose sight of this hopeful outlook on dreary December days when sunshine feels like a distant memory, but it always gets better.
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Summary
Living with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can be challenging, especially during the winter months. It’s important to understand that those affected are making significant efforts to manage their symptoms. Patience and support from loved ones are crucial, as is the need for effective self-care strategies. Ultimately, hope prevails, and improvement is always just around the corner.