Every time I find myself away from my son for a significant period, I’m invariably asked, “I bet you really miss him, don’t you?” To be honest, the answer is no.
As a writer managing a career from home, I’m fortunate to enjoy both my profession and my role as a mother. My schedule is packed with deadlines, conference calls, and supportive editors who trust in my abilities. And then there’s my 1-year-old son, who adores playtime and snuggling with his favorite books, believing I’m the only one who can rock him to sleep.
Sometimes, my work demands that I step away from my son—whether it’s to write an article in the next room or travel to cover a story in another state. Yet, each time I engage in activities outside of my parenting role, I am met with that familiar question, accompanied by a sympathetic tilt of the head and raised eyebrows: “How do you manage being away from your child?”
I often respond with the socially acceptable answer, acknowledging that it’s tough and that I look forward to being home. While there is some truth to that, the reality is I want to express that I truly enjoy my work. I relish the opportunities it offers and the satisfaction I derive from pursuing my passion, especially when I’m completely immersed in it.
When I’m deep in an article or attending a meeting, my thoughts are not consumed with longing for my son. Instead, I’m focused on the task at hand, experiencing fulfillment and creativity that comes from my work. Yes, I even look forward to the moments away from him—not because he’s overwhelming, but because I cherish the chance to engage in activities that don’t involve him. I appreciate nurturing my career, friendships, and personal projects that I can pursue independently.
So, no, I don’t miss my child in the conventional sense.
As mothers, we often feel pressured to express guilt over pursuing our careers while raising children. Fathers typically escape this scrutiny, rarely questioned about missing their kids during work hours. On the other hand, mothers are expected to lament their decisions to work instead of staying home, as if they must justify their choices. But for me, working isn’t a burden; it’s a choice. I’m not solely providing for my family; I’m also nurturing my own aspirations and ambitions. That’s something I refuse to apologize for.
Of course, guilt can creep in at times, whispering that I’m failing as a parent or being selfish. It’s the same nagging voice that questions my self-worth and pushes me to feel inadequate. While I strive to silence it, this voice can be powerful and relentless.
Sometimes, I do miss my son when I’m away. However, those moments are fleeting and usually occur right before a reunion or just after saying goodbye. It’s less about yearning and more about impatience—I simply look forward to seeing him again. When I’m engaged in my work, my focus is on my other passion.
So when you ask if I miss my son while I’m focused on my career, I’ll nod and provide the expected response, but it won’t tell the whole story. The truth is, I find fulfillment and joy beyond my role as a mother, and that’s perfectly okay.
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In summary, balancing work and motherhood can be complex, but it’s equally rewarding. Mothers should embrace their professional passions without guilt, recognizing that fulfillment can exist beyond parenting.