“Hey,” my friend Lisa says as we both enter the gym locker room, “you look so skinny!” This remark seems to follow me every time I’ve been under the weather or nursing an injury. It’s meant to be a kind compliment.
In my natural state, my body resembles a slender figure, perhaps with a bit of extra padding in the middle, and yes, I’ve got a generous bust. When I hit the gym regularly, my body takes on a slightly different form, with visible muscle definition on my otherwise delicate limbs. Yet, when I lose even a small amount of muscle due to inactivity, people often interpret that change as “skinny.” It’s funny how society equates being skinny with being healthy or attractive.
However, my motivation for exercising isn’t rooted in how I look. While many might appreciate the aesthetic aspect, I work out to combat my long-standing struggle with depression. The rush of endorphins I experience acts as a boost to my antidepressants, stabilizing my mood significantly when I remain active.
The truth is, telling someone they look skinny isn’t really a compliment—though it may be intended as one. It reinforces a culture that scrutinizes and judges our bodies. Consider this: would anyone dare to say, “You seem to have gained weight,” or “It’s taking you a long time to get back to your pre-baby body”? No one would say those things, yet “skinny” is often thrown around casually.
Compliments about appearance can perpetuate dangerous and sexist ideals, fostering insecurity about our bodies. This issue isn’t just about how we treat others; it also affects us as women who grew up surrounded by diet culture and societal expectations regarding body image. Despite our best efforts to promote body positivity, we still have blind spots and can inadvertently reinforce those same standards.
For every individual who feels empowered by the deluge of fitness and diet trends on social media, there’s another woman grappling with health challenges or simply choosing not to obsess over her body’s perceived value. Headlines in gossip magazines scream, “X celebrity shows off her post-baby body in Hawaii!” No, she has a body, she had a baby, and that’s where the focus should lie.
Well-meaning friends, unaware of our personal struggles—whether it’s recovering from a flare-up of IBS or recuperating from an injury—might compliment us on looking skinny. Meanwhile, our children are absorbing these messages. Just the other day, I heard a girl in my daughter Mia’s after-school art club boast, “Look how small my tummy is.” I watched as Mia processed that comment, and I couldn’t help but intervene. I walked up, poked my own stomach, and declared, “What matters is that our bodies work! Imagine if they didn’t—everything you ate would just sit there! You’d have to poop out whole pieces of food!” The girls erupted into laughter, shifting the focus away from body size.
There is no correct way to have a body. Even comments made with good intentions can lead to judgment. So please, don’t label me as skinny. My goal is to prioritize health and happiness, not to worry about how that looks.
For more insights on self-care and body acceptance, visit this article about home insemination kits or check out this resource on pregnancy and this resource on collaborative research.
Summary:
The perception of being “skinny” is often misinterpreted as a compliment, yet it reinforces negative societal standards regarding body image. The author emphasizes that health and happiness should be prioritized over how one’s body looks, especially in light of how such comments influence children. Ultimately, it’s crucial to shift our conversations away from appearance and focus on the functionality and health of our bodies.