My son always sends me a quick text when he’s on his way home so I can start preparing dinner. A few weeks back, while I was in the kitchen, I heard a woman yelling outside. Since I hadn’t noticed his car pull up, I was completely unaware of what was happening.
When I glanced out the window, I saw my son still in his car, with a woman from down the street shouting at him, her face flushed and her voice nearly a scream.
I heard my son acknowledge that he had been speeding and apologize to her. But as soon as I stepped outside to find out what was going on, she took off down the street.
After speaking with my son, he admitted he was indeed driving too fast. “I was going 25, and she signaled for me to slow down,” he explained.
I reminded him that he really needs to be cautious because safety is paramount. However, I couldn’t shake my confusion about her extreme reaction. I didn’t like the way she was yelling at my son, especially when he was trying to engage with her respectfully and apologize.
When I spoke with this woman (who doesn’t have children), it was evident that her anger stemmed from the situation. I told her that while I agreed with her about the importance of safety, her tone was completely unwarranted.
This was the first time she had ever interacted with my son, and he had never been reported for speeding before. He mentioned that she was yelling throughout their exchange. If she had approached him calmly and said, “You were speeding, and I want you to be safe, so please slow down,” that message would have resonated much better with him.
She rolled her eyes at me, clearly believing that children should automatically respect adults, despite her lack of respectful behavior. It felt like she was frustrated that we weren’t intimidated by her.
Most parents are fine with someone pointing out their child’s misbehavior when it’s justified. I’m not above acknowledging that my kids can be difficult. They test boundaries, are not perfect, and do make mistakes.
However, that doesn’t mean I want strangers disrespecting them or shouting at them. The notion that children should simply bow to the authority of adults is outdated. It is unacceptable to address them in a manner we wouldn’t want to be spoken to just because of their age.
It’s also wrong to become outraged when they assert themselves or stand up for their rights. I refuse to sit back and allow someone to disrespect my children simply because they think they have the upper hand.
If I didn’t advocate for my kids, they would never learn to advocate for themselves. They might think the appropriate response to aggressive behavior is submission, which is not how to handle such situations.
My son was polite and isn’t fond of confrontation. He recognized his mistake and admitted it freely. Is he perfect? No. No one is. We need to be more forgiving toward children and their errors.
That doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be consequences or discussions. And I assure you, being more understanding won’t result in parents thinking their kids are infallible or that those who point out their mistakes are misguided.
It simply means treating them with the same respect we expect when we make mistakes. Being a child doesn’t mean they should be belittled or subjected to disrespect.
Feel free to try to treat them that way, but this generation of parents — and this protective mama in particular — won’t tolerate it.
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Summary
This article discusses the importance of respect in interactions between adults and children, highlighting a personal experience where a mother defended her son against aggressive behavior from a neighbor. It emphasizes that children deserve to be treated with dignity, even when they make mistakes, and that parents should advocate for their children’s rights.