I Created a New Day of the Week and Other Ways I Transformed My Life into a ‘Vacation’

At home insemination

Craft a life that feels like a continuous vacation. When I first encountered this idea, my immediate reaction was disbelief. As a full-time provider and often a solo mom to three energetic boys, I felt like I was constantly juggling responsibilities—planning family events, problem-solving, and being the emotional backbone of my household. The notion seemed far-fetched.

But then I pondered: could it actually be possible? It seemed too enticing not to explore. My journey towards creating a life I don’t need to escape from has come a long way, and I feel I’m nearly there. Here are five transformative changes I embraced:

1. I Embraced Help from Others
   I used to underestimate the saying, “it takes a village.” Accepting help felt like admitting defeat, as if I were signaling that I couldn’t manage everything on my own. However, once I began to accept offers for assistance, remarkable things unfolded. My children gained invaluable experiences by interacting with others—trying new foods from neighbors, learning Spanish from our Costa Rican friends, and exploring diverse cultures. Regular visits to Grandma’s not only enriched their lives but also strengthened family ties. Interestingly, research suggests that grandparents who spend quality time with their grandchildren tend to have longer lives! So, the next time someone offers to take your kids off your hands, say yes—it benefits everyone involved.
2. I Stopped Justifying My Choices
   It used to bother me when people questioned my parenting choices. Moms often face unsolicited advice from all angles—social media, family, friends, and neighbors. One day, I decided to stop engaging with those who questioned my decisions. If someone pressed me, I simply stated that what I was doing worked best for us and changed the subject. The unsolicited advice diminished, and the weight I felt from it lifted. Recognizing that others’ opinions do not define my abilities as a parent was transformative. I learned that no one understands my family’s dynamics better than I do, which built my confidence to trust in my choices.
3. I Invented a New Day of the Week
   When my boys were three, five, and seven, I often felt suffocated by the demands of work and parenting. I longed for time to indulge in my hobbies and practice self-care. So, I introduced “Free For All” days! The premise is simple: every Sunday, everyone can do whatever they want, as long as they do it alone. Core house rules still apply—no fighting, for instance. One Sunday, I spent an entire day painting without interruptions! Remarkably, everyone managed just fine. Soon, Sundays became a cherished day for each of us, allowing creativity and relaxation to flourish. The laid-back atmosphere of this day became something I eagerly anticipated each week.
4. I Redefined Normal
   I took a hard look at the many rules I had established in our home, many of which stemmed from traditional norms or concerns about others’ perceptions. For example, I used to believe that every meal had to be a family affair at the table. This was exhausting, especially rushing home from work to prepare meals that my kids would barely touch. Now, we enjoy leftovers, takeout, or simple dishes like grilled cheese during the week, reserving elaborate family meals for the weekends when everyone is more relaxed. Similarly, I used to stress over throwing grand birthday parties for my boys, whose birthdays all fall within three weeks of Christmas. Now, we focus on activities instead of gifts, such as spa days with mom or movie outings with Auntie. These experiences create lasting memories and are looked forward to throughout the year—without the dread.
5. I Fostered Independence
   The faster my children learn to do things for themselves, the less I have to take care of. This concept may seem obvious, but I initially undervalued it. I taught my kids how to do laundry, use the oven, walk home from school, and even care for our dog—all by age ten. While I enjoy doing things for them, seeing their self-confidence grow and their willingness to help others is far more rewarding. There is still progress to be made, but we’re on the right path.

I adapted the phrase, “Create a life you don’t need a vacation from,” to something more attainable for us: “Build a life you love.” This motto is proudly displayed on a plaque in our kitchen, serving as a constant reminder to continue saying yes, refining our choices, and trusting our instincts.

For more insights on creating a fulfilling life, check out this blog post. You’ll find valuable tips and resources, including those from Progyny, an excellent source for pregnancy and home insemination advice.

In summary, by redefining my approach to parenting and daily life, I’ve been able to foster an environment where we can thrive together. Embracing help, ditching the need for validation, and focusing on experiences over expectations have all contributed to a home that feels like a vacation.