As a proud product of the 1980s, I have a profound affection for everything related to that iconic decade. Back in those days, my hair was styled to the heavens with an abundance of Aqua Net, and I sported multiple pairs of socks with my classic white Keds. My beloved jean jacket remains a staple in my wardrobe, and I have no qualms about breaking into dance to “Hangin’ Tough” by New Kids on the Block while grocery shopping.
There’s nothing quite like snuggling up to enjoy the quintessential ’80s films that have woven themselves into the fabric of my childhood. Whenever I hear the opening notes of “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds, I’m instantly transported back to Judd Nelson’s unforgettable role in The Breakfast Club.
Ever since my kids came along, I’ve been eagerly anticipating sharing the ’80s classics that shaped my youth with them. I wanted them to experience the same feelings of nostalgia I had when John Cusack held that boombox over his head, or when Jake Ryan whispered “Yeah, you!” to Samantha in Sixteen Candles. Above all, I hoped they would adore Steel Magnolias as much as I do.
Finally, the moment arrived when my husband and I decided to kick off our mission to introduce our kids to the ’80s cinematic gems. We settled on Spaceballs, thinking our son’s obsession with Star Wars would make Rick Moranis’s comical portrayal of Dark Helmet a perfect entry point. With blankets and popcorn in hand, we quickly realized that we might have made a grave mistake.
Wow, I had completely forgotten about the profane language and suggestive humor in Spaceballs. As the film progressed, my husband and I exchanged uneasy glances while addressing our kids’ inquiries about chastity belts. It turned out that one of our cherished films had become one of our biggest parenting blunders. Our kids found the term “asshole” particularly amusing, thanks a lot, Moranis.
Soon, we discovered that ’80s movies could definitely use an additional warning label—perhaps a parent-to-parent advisory that details just how much of a sex education your child might inadvertently receive while watching. Parents should be aware of the frequency of explicit language when selecting an ’80s film for family movie night. Fortunately, I’ve compiled some handy warnings:
Doc Hollywood
What’s not to enjoy about a rom-com featuring Michael J. Fox as a plastic surgeon who accidentally takes a detour to the Deep South? Well, if you’d prefer to avoid your child witnessing full nudity as the female lead emerges from a lake, it’s best to skip this one.
National Lampoon’s Vacation
Let’s be honest: we’ve all experienced our own versions of a Walley World road trip disaster. But if you’d rather not have your kids see Chevy Chase’s wife perform a striptease or Christie Brinkley going skinny-dipping, it’s wise to hold off on this one.
Stand By Me
This coming-of-age classic features four boys on a quest to find a dead body. Seriously, what were our parents thinking when they let us watch this?
Edward Scissorhands
If you enjoy the idea of your kids waking up terrified after dreaming about a gothic man with scissors for hands, then this movie is a perfect pick.
Ghostbusters
How could I forget that Dan Aykroyd receives a lap dance from a ghost? Watching my teenage son chuckle as a Ghostbuster experiences a rather inappropriate moment was as uncomfortable as it sounds.
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
While I’d love to join in on a “phony phone call to Ed Rooney,” it’s disheartening to realize this film revolves around skipping school and pulling off the ultimate day of truancy. Also, the language? Ferris had quite the mouth on him!
The Breakfast Club
Hey, Claire, Allison, Andrew, John, and Brian? I think you all have some Saturday detentions in your future due to your foul language and risqué conversations around my tweens. But hey, you’re legends—don’t change!
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
You’d assume a movie about a lovable alien hiding in a child’s closet would be harmless, right? Well, when Elliott hurls the insult “penis breath” at dinner, you might find yourself gasping.
Our generation produced some of the best—and worst—films ever, and I can’t help but want to share that excitement with my children. Watching them connect with scenes that meant so much to me brings back memories of my Esprit jeans and Liz Claiborne purse. Yet, it’s a bit of a bummer that I can’t share these classics until they’re old enough to celebrate their own Sixteen Candles.
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In summary, revisiting ’80s films with my kids has been an eye-opening experience, revealing just how much I had forgotten about the content. While I cherish the nostalgia, I must also navigate the challenges of introducing them to these classics without exposing them to too much at once.