The last time I shared my birthday with one of my kids, my daughter was just three years old. That was a whopping seven years ago. I had envisioned a delightful day filled with pancakes for breakfast, a fun gymnastics class, and a lunch outing at her favorite bagel shop (because, after all, a happy toddler means a happy day). I even pictured us strolling hand-in-hand, a trail of colorful balloons behind us. What could possibly go wrong?
As it turns out, a lot can go wrong with a three-year-old.
When she woke up, she was thrilled that it was my birthday—perhaps a bit too thrilled. The anticipation of cake, gifts, and singing seemed to overwhelm her little mind. My usually calm daughter transformed into a whirlwind of chaos from the moment she opened her eyes until nap time—seven long hours later. She cried through breakfast, argued all the way to gymnastics, and sobbed uncontrollably when I handed her the beloved bagel with chips at lunch. It was as if she couldn’t cope with the enormity of having a birthday mom, bless her little heart.
In utter disbelief, I asked her during our long drive home, “Why are you acting like this today?” She sat there with her tear-streaked cheeks and simply replied, “I don’t know.” We both ended up in tears, and it was the saddest birthday ever.
That day solidified my vow to never put us through that again. From that point forward, I promised myself that on my birthday, I would send my children off to do something—anything—with someone else. We could reunite at the end of the day for a slice of angel food cake and express our mutual love.
Every other day of the year revolves around their activities, preferences, and needs. So, yes, call me selfish, but on my birthday, I crave a day that’s all about me. I want to go for a jog, indulge in some bacon, enjoy a massage, have a grown-up lunch with friends, relish the bliss of a quiet car ride, and read a book that doesn’t have illustrations. I long for a moment of reflection on the past year and how I want to approach the next 365 days. Just one day each year dedicated to me.
I adore my children and often prioritize them above myself. I invest my time in teaching, entertaining, and channeling their boundless energy into something constructive. I build their world around the things they love, even if they don’t always align with my interests.
Yet, I matter too. I’m a capable, functioning adult navigating the complexities of life. To be patient and present, I need time away from daily chores and responsibilities. I deserve my day. In fact, I might even take more than one if we’re being honest. Perhaps I’ll start tomorrow.
We all deserve that day for ourselves. Seize it. I’m definitely taking mine.
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In summary, while family is treasured, taking time to focus on oneself is paramount, especially on significant occasions like birthdays. Embracing this philosophy not only nurtures personal well-being but also enhances familial relationships.