I was listening to a podcast yesterday, and the therapist mentioned that distance can create desire. Well, isn’t that the truth?
When the pandemic first began, I felt incredibly fortunate to have a loving partner to share my thoughts with. Both of us have been through divorces, have kids, and are navigating the complexities of co-parenting while trying to maintain our households.
Having someone in my COVID bubble who shared my views on avoiding crowds, wearing masks, and foregoing sleepovers for our children was a blessing. Plus, the intimacy we shared was outstanding. After years of swiping through dating apps, I finally found someone I could settle down with, eliminating the need for virtual dating or relying too heavily on my vibrator.
He was the sole person (besides my kids) I interacted with for months. Our regular outings to movies, restaurants, or gatherings ceased, and we quickly adapted to staying in. Initially, I didn’t mind this change, but soon I felt like I was about to snap every night as he snored beside me.
One evening while I was cooking, I noticed him slurping the canned veggies simmering on the stove. I mean, seriously? Instead of just checking the temperature, he was standing over the pan, slurping green beans repeatedly—at least four times!
When we take a drive to escape the house, he blasts the sports channel so loud that the entire neighborhood can hear it. On top of that, the heat is cranked up so high it blows in my face, and the windows are down. By the time I exit the car, I feel so overwhelmed that I need quiet time in my room to decompress.
He insists on using speakerphone for every call and replays silly videos from his friends a minimum of five times. We both share a love for ice cream, which has become a staple during the pandemic, but when he indulges, he smacks his lips with every bite to “fully savor” it.
Now, I’m not flawless either—I take forever in the bathroom, I might splurge a bit too much on shoes, and I have to arrange my pillows just so. I have a specific routine for my meals, and my smoothie obsession is anything but quiet.
I tend to go to bed early while he’s a night owl, and these days, it takes me a while to reach climax. I’m sure I annoy him just as much as he gets on my nerves.
The main issue is that since March, the traits that once seemed charming (or I simply overlooked) have transformed into irritations, all because he’s my constant companion during this pandemic. He’s my safe haven, the one I turn to for support, joy, or advice. Now, we spend all our time together without the usual buffers of friends, family, movie theaters, or game nights, and I often feel like I might scream.
I can’t just escape to a spin class, and he can’t visit friends to watch games since they have elderly parents living with them.
We’re not the only couple navigating the challenges of the pandemic. We both work from home with flexible schedules, began working out together when gyms closed, and now prepare every meal together. We’re comfortable and in love.
But good grief, he’s really testing my patience. The lack of distance has made me realize that we need to rekindle that desire. Just the other night, he cranked up the TV volume a notch, and I nearly lost it.
To all the couples feeling fatigued by the constant presence of their partner, whether it’s from hearing their breath, dealing with annoying bathroom habits, or listening to their voice on a conference call, I want to say we’re in this together. But honestly, we’re not. There’s little we can do to ease each other’s frustrations, except lend an ear to vent.
However, we are in this with our partner. And I don’t know about you, but I’ll endure the slurping, snoring, and all the little things he does (that may drive me to the brink) because I truly believe that if you can survive a pandemic with someone, you can conquer anything.
And let’s be real—when life returns to some semblance of normalcy and we start to have our own space again, I might just miss him more than I think.
For more insights on relationships and coping during these times, check out this post. It’s a great read!
Summary:
In this candid reflection, a woman expresses her frustrations about her partner during the COVID-19 pandemic. While grateful for his companionship, she finds herself increasingly irritated by his habits, which have become more pronounced due to their constant proximity. Despite the challenges, she recognizes the value of their bond and the strength it brings in navigating these trying times.
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