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Parenting
I Apologize for My Gaze
by Emily Carter
Updated: July 27, 2016
Originally Published: June 26, 2014
I apologize for my gaze as I watched you in the grocery store earlier today. I never intended to make you uneasy while you were checking out your groceries—cereal, diapers, and orange juice. You captivated me with your long legs and flat stomach, dressed in clothes free of stains. I found myself wishing to embody your effortless beauty and perfection.
Please forgive me for my stare during soccer practice this morning. I wasn’t judging your tardiness or the way you were managing your kids as they scrambled out of the minivan, still in their soccer gear. Rather, I noticed the absence of your husband and wedding ring. I felt a desire to assist you, but worried about overstepping, especially with my seemingly perfect partner nearby. Your strength left me in awe as you filled the gap left by someone who should have been there for you and your family.
I’m sorry for my lingering gaze at the urgent care clinic last week. I wasn’t concerned that your child’s cough might be contagious—okay, maybe a bit. More than anything, I recognized the exhaustion etched on your face, the worry that kept you up all night. I wanted to assure you that you were doing your best, and that was more than enough for your little one.
I apologize for staring at you in Babies ‘R’ Us yesterday. I didn’t mean to come off as one of those people who invade the personal space of a pregnant stranger, sharing my own lengthy birthing tale, or offering unsolicited advice on everything from diapers to homemade baby food. You reminded me of myself six years ago—navigating the aisles filled with baby gear, armed with Consumer Reports and the latest parenting guide. I wished I could tell you that peepee teepees are pointless, but those little newborn mittens are a must. More than anything, I wanted to reassure you: “You’ve got this. Trust your instincts, cherish your child, and savor every moment. Before long, you’ll be the seasoned mom, reminiscing about this beautiful journey.”
I’m sorry for my gaze at the park this past Tuesday. I never meant to appear like one of those characters from a dramatic film. Rest assured, I have three kids of my own and couldn’t possibly take on another! I simply missed those days when I could devote all my attention to one child—thankfully, my husband understood. I remember feeling overwhelmed and uncertain, taking on motherhood with the seriousness of a secret service agent. I wanted to tell you, “Breathe, you’re doing wonderfully,” and even remind you that “this time flies by,” but I know how much those words can annoy, even when they’re true.
I apologize for staring at you in the OB/GYN office last month. I didn’t mean to hurt you when I instinctively clutched my own pregnant belly upon seeing your tears fall onto the ultrasound picture in your lap. I longed to wrap my arms around you, letting your tears seep into my shirt, and tell you, “I understand your pain. I’ve been there too. And remember, this too shall pass.”
I’m sorry for watching you in the coffee shop this afternoon. I didn’t intend to make you feel uncomfortable or remind you of your age while you were catching up with your adult daughter. I admired the grace and wisdom reflected in your features, how at ease you were in your own skin. I pondered your life stories and hoped your daughter recognized the invaluable gift sitting across from her—your experiences and lessons that could guide her if she listened closely.
I apologize for my gaze in the living room this morning. I didn’t mean to catch you in a moment of mischief, whether it was a hair-trim for the cat or discovering hidden Easter candy. I was simply filled with admiration for the kindness you show your brother and the beauty in your eyes. You once fit snugly in my belly, and now you embody a blend of your father’s generosity and my determination. I was just thinking of how proud I am to be your mother and how my heart swells with excitement and a bit of fear as I watch you grow into the incredible person you are destined to be.
This article was first published on June 26, 2014.
If you’re looking for more insights and stories from parents navigating these same experiences, check out our post on the at-home insemination kit. For decluttering tips that can help make your parenting journey easier, visit this resource. And for excellent information about pregnancy and home insemination, explore this link.
In summary, this piece reflects on the shared experiences of motherhood and the admiration we often feel for others navigating similar paths. Through moments of empathy and understanding, we recognize the challenges and joys of parenting, ultimately celebrating the unique journey each of us undertakes.