When I think back to my childhood, I vividly remember munching on Cheetos while watching a commercial for Enjoli perfume. It was the ’80s, and while I enjoyed being a girl and adored the scent of perfume, I couldn’t stand that ad. The woman in it, flipping her perfect hair and belting out a tune about bringing home the bacon, seemed utterly ridiculous.
She juggled cooking, taking care of the kids, and getting ready for her partner, all while looking flawless. But my immediate thought was: Where was her partner during all this chaos?
Even as a child, I couldn’t comprehend why she appeared so thrilled with her life, which looked exhausting. When did she get to enjoy herself?
I wholeheartedly believe in women’s capabilities; they can achieve anything they set their minds to. However, I know that I am not cut out to be that superwoman. I have a limited amount of energy each day, and I refuse to spend it catering to everyone else’s happiness around the clock. That is not my job.
Can We Contribute Financially?
Absolutely. Women work diligently, often earning between 55 to 79 cents for every dollar a man makes, depending on various factors.
Can We Prepare Meals?
Certainly! We can cook like pros, but I prefer to do that only part of the time—maybe 55% to 79% of the time sounds more balanced to me. Some evenings, I enjoy ordering sushi and eating straight from the container. Other nights are “whatever” nights, where I encourage everyone to find something to eat. It keeps us all happy, especially me.
Sharing Parenting Responsibilities
When it comes to parenting, I can manage it all, but if I want to save energy for my partner later, I need help. It’s not just about him helping me; it’s about sharing the responsibility. We chose to have kids together, and we should both be involved in their upbringing.
I’ve tried to embody that woman who does it all, but it only led to resentment and a realization that I didn’t want to live that way. I prefer to be content rather than chase after compliments about my ability to juggle everything. Just because you can be that 24/7 woman doesn’t mean you should.
The Pressure on Women
While that commercial may have aired decades ago, the pressure on women hasn’t completely disappeared. I still hear women feeling the weight of expectations to excel in every area: to look perfect, to achieve a successful career, to maintain a spotless home, and to raise high-achieving kids. The truth is, the woman in that commercial doesn’t exist.
Deep down, we all recognize that trying to do it all leads to major burnout. When we struggle to keep pace, we often feel inadequate and drained. Many of us are in the same boat, grappling with the unrealistic pressure to be perfect.
We can excel at a few things, but aiming to accomplish everything leads to chaos and ultimately harms us. If we falter, the entire system can come crashing down faster than you can say, “bring home the bacon.”
Helpful Resources
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Summary
It’s important to recognize that women don’t have to be available to their families at all times. The pressure to excel in every aspect of life can lead to burnout. Self-care and shared responsibilities in parenting are crucial for happiness and balance.