We’ve all experienced those moments: “Don’t run with scissors!” and the instant you realize the words have escaped your lips, you know—you’ve become your mother.
For me, the awakening hit hard when I found myself advising one of my children to wear clean underwear in case of an accident. What the heck? Upon deeper contemplation, I recognize that I’ve morphed into not just my mother but a collective of maternal figures.
Remember the movie Sybil from childhood? Sally Field portrayed a character with numerous “personalities,” each emerging when needed most. I’m not trying to trivialize Multiple Personality Disorder, but I can relate—many voices help navigate the complexities of parenting.
The personalities I channel most often consist of iconic TV and movie moms, some of whom are not even mothers, yet I find their wisdom invaluable. Each one is a tool I reach for whenever the situation calls for it.
I am my mother and…
- Martha Stewart: I summon Martha when the clock is ticking down to a school project deadline. With her guidance, I magically gather styrofoam balls, hot glue, and sequins to help my child create something Nobel-worthy.
- Carla Johnson: Unlike the perfect family setup of others, I often envy Carla’s situation. She’s a stay-at-home mom with a successful husband and a cozy home—complete with help. If only I had a “Rosie” to manage the chores, I could focus on the more urgent matters, like addressing my daughter’s broken nose or figuring out my son’s fib about cigarettes.
- Lily Thompson: Sometimes, I wish for the confidence of Lily from Modern Family. I crave her figure and her unfiltered approach to life.
- Minnie Johnson: From The Help, Minnie wields a can of Crisco like a superhero. She can fry chicken, detangle hair, and fix annoying doors all in one go.
- Renee Harris: I often channel Renee’s no-nonsense attitude, delivering the brutally honest truth without a filter. Unfortunately, she often arrives late, leaving me stewing in silence until I can vent on the drive home.
- Nurse Daisy: While not a mom, her calm demeanor during chaos inspires me. “Mr. Thompson, please take a seat. I will address your concerns once you’re calm. Are we calm now?”
- Sharon Parker: I need her organizational skills when it’s time to get everyone moving. The magical bus certainly helps, but anyone who can rally five kids and get them to an event on time deserves my admiration.
- Megan Addams: Let’s be honest, she looks incredible in black and maintains a wonderfully quirky family dynamic. Embracing non-conformity is essential!
- Reba McIntyre: Reba is everything I aspire to be: effortlessly managing a household while juggling the ups and downs of life with grace. When she surfaces in me, I find myself whipping up delicious meals and enjoying iced coffee in style.
Oh dear, I realize I only have nine figures in my rolodex of personalities, and it feels unbalanced. I desperately need a tenth to satisfy my inner perfectionist. Can anyone suggest a fitting character?
In summary, I’ve become a blend of my mother and various fictional female figures, each embodying qualities I admire or wish I had. Whether it’s Martha Stewart’s craftiness or Nurse Daisy’s composure, these personas help me navigate the wild ride of motherhood. If you’re looking for more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on IVF and for more on self-care during your journey, check out this guide.
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