I like to believe my vocabulary is quite impressive (that quiz I took on Facebook couldn’t have been wrong). As a professional writer, I’m well-acquainted with the beauty of adjectives, and I’ve made it a point to teach my kids a diverse array of words. Since they were little, they’ve been able to describe something as “scrumptious” or “delectable” just as easily as saying “It’s yummy.” I truly believe a robust vocabulary is a valuable asset, shaping how others perceive a person; therefore, I’ve worked hard to instill an understanding of the power of language in my children.
That said, I also embrace swearing like a champ. Sometimes, nothing else quite fits the moment better than a well-placed curse word. It’s like seasoning in cooking; you can choose to keep things bland or add a little spice. Personally, I prefer my language to have a bit of saltiness.
Of course, I have my limits. I wouldn’t walk into a place of worship and exclaim, “How the hell are ya?!” nor would I inform my waiter that my meal was “fucking delicious.” I also make it a point to gauge my friends’ comfort levels with cursing before I let a few choice words slip, because I understand that not everyone appreciates it, and that’s perfectly okay.
When it comes to my kids occasionally letting a bad word fly, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. How could it? They hear me say things like, “Who the hell left the milk out again?” or “I’m so tired of this crap!” If I were to ban them from using similar language, I’d be a colossal hypocrite, and that’s not the example I want to set for them.
Like any responsible parent, my kids know there are strict guidelines. We only use swear words at home, and even then, they’re off-limits when guests are around. They don’t toss around cuss words for the sake of it; slathering their sentences with profanity would contradict the lessons I’ve instilled about the importance of diverse vocabulary.
Most importantly, we never use profanity directed at others, even when they might deserve it. Words hold weight, and even non-cursing terms can inflict harm. My children know they’ll face more consequences for calling a sibling an “idiot” than for uttering “shit” when they drop something. They also understand that there are far worse words that we never, ever use — any derogatory terms or slurs result in immediate and serious consequences. I’d prefer to hear them say “fuck” a million times rather than utter something hurtful just once, and they are well aware of this rule. Just as they’re prohibited from physical violence, they are equally restricted from using words that could hurt someone. This applies to all expressions — whether they’re four-letter words or not.
You might assume that my lenient stance on swearing means my kids are constantly cursing, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Despite my acceptance of a more colorful vocabulary, my kids rarely use bad language (and surprisingly, they often ask for permission before they do). I think it’s because removing the taboo has stripped away its allure. To them, swearing is not an exciting forbidden act; it’s just another set of words, no more thrilling than saying “darn” or “fudge.” They know that no profanity they could use would raise an eyebrow from me, eliminating any motivation to seek a reaction.
However, they understand that when they genuinely want to convey strong feelings, they can freely let the expletives fly. After all, sometimes, no matter how extensive your vocabulary is, a perfectly timed curse word is simply the best choice.
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In summary, I allow my children to use profanity in a controlled manner at home, understanding that it fosters a healthier relationship with language. We maintain strict boundaries about when and how they can express themselves, ensuring that while they have the freedom to speak their minds, they also learn the importance of choosing words wisely.