Understanding Mental Illness
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I consider myself fortunate. Living with bipolar 2 disorder, I’m surrounded by individuals who comprehend the intricacies of my condition. Navigating mental illness is challenging enough, often accompanied by feelings of being overlooked or misunderstood. Society tends to impose unrealistic standards, especially for those of us who struggle with the demands of a conventional work environment. Mental illness can feel isolating, leading to a disconnect from friends and loved ones.
When surrounded by those unfamiliar with moderate to severe mental health issues, fear can set in: Will my illness manifest unexpectedly? How intense will it be? Will I be able to manage it alone? Such thoughts can overshadow even the brightest days. Unfortunately, this often feels like a lack of love or acceptance, which it can be—a failure to embrace the full person.
Fortunately, my partner recognizes that there are times when I need him to return home from work, especially when my medication feels overwhelming. I appreciate that his coworkers understand that he has a spouse with mental health challenges, and they provide him the space he needs. My close friends know that I might go silent for a while, and when that happens, I need solitude but will reach out in due time. My employers encourage mental health breaks and check in on my well-being. I am incredibly grateful for their understanding support.
Individuals with mental health issues require a certain type of support. Many want to help but may not know how, unlike my loved ones who have educated themselves about coping with these challenges. According to Johns Hopkins, 26% of Americans will experience mental illness in any given year, including 9.5% dealing with depression and 18% with anxiety disorders. You likely know someone facing a similar struggle. Here’s how you can offer your support.
Acknowledge Their Struggle
Those close to me don’t pretend that my brain functions like everyone else’s. They recognize that I may react differently to various situations. When I lapse into silence, my partner often checks in with, “Are you okay, or just quiet?” This opens the door for me to express my feelings.
People who care for me accept my condition as part of who I am. They don’t shy away from acknowledging my struggles, like when I faced difficulties adjusting to new medication last month.
Be Present When Needed
If you’re a close friend or partner, being a resource might mean being available at unexpected times to navigate the chaos that mental illness can bring. Sometimes, they simply need you nearby. During one of my challenging episodes, I found comfort in sitting with my friend Alex in his garage. We didn’t discuss my struggles; we just shared some laughter while watching shows. I left feeling lighter, simply from his company.
The closer you are to someone with mental health challenges, the more you’ll witness their struggles. Remember, this “messiness” is just a part of them—not the entirety of who they are. It’s essential to ask what they need during difficult times. My relationship improved significantly when my partner realized I didn’t require him to solve my problems; I just wanted him to listen.
Understand Behavioral Changes
Mental illness can alter a person’s behavior. When someone you know acts out of character, it’s often due to their condition. While it might be unhelpful to point this out during a breakdown, it’s important to recognize that their feelings are valid. For instance, just before one of my recent emotional downturns, I had a heated exchange with my supervisor, who noted that my behavior was atypical. Reflecting on it afterward, I recognized it as an early sign that I was spiraling.
Next time you notice someone acting differently, consider it a signal that they might need support.
Maintain Calmness
As a supporter, it’s crucial to remain composed. This doesn’t mean arguing or losing patience. Instead, focus on being a steady presence. Remember, those struggling with mental illness can’t simply “snap out of it.” It’s often more distressing for them than it is for you. If they express fears or anxieties, gently suggest alternative activities, but avoid telling them to stop their feelings or behaviors.
Mental Illness is Comparable to Physical Illness
Mental health challenges can be exhausting. Sometimes, individuals may withdraw. Understand this isn’t a reflection of their feelings toward you; they are conserving energy for essential tasks, like eating or showering.
If a friend is going through a tough time, consider offering them a meal or sending a little care package. They might be too drained to take care of themselves. Most importantly, allow them the space to heal without judgment. Recognize that while they may not fit societal norms, your support can help them become their best selves.
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Summary
Supporting individuals with mental illness requires understanding, patience, and a willingness to be present. Acknowledge their struggles, offer your presence, and maintain a calm demeanor. Recognizing that mental health challenges can mimic physical ailments can guide you in providing the necessary support. Remember, every bit of help counts, allowing those you care about to navigate their journey more comfortably.
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