She embodies beauty and grace, but there’s so much more to her. It’s essential for her to recognize that.
As parents, it’s natural to admire our children’s beauty. Regardless of their physical features, we see perfection in every aspect. This is especially true for daughters, where the desire to express admiration for their looks can be strong.
However, society often places excessive emphasis on a woman’s appearance. Even those who have worked on self-love can feel the pressure to help their daughters appreciate their beauty. Yet, simply telling your daughter she is pretty or smart may not be beneficial. According to clinical psychologist Julia Martinez, who is a mom of two, “I prefer to commend kids for their effort.” She explains that statements like “you are pretty” can lead children to believe their worth is tied solely to their looks or intelligence. By focusing on effort, we encourage a sense of pride in trying hard rather than fixating on outcomes.
That doesn’t mean you should avoid acknowledging your child’s appearance altogether. Confidence is important in a society that often prioritizes looks. Martinez advises that compliments should be directed toward aspects they can control, such as their choices in clothing or hairstyles. “If I say ‘you look great,’ it’s usually because they styled themselves in a fun outfit,” she shares.
Instead of focusing on inherited traits, highlight the effort they put into their appearance. You might say, “Wow, it looks like you put a lot of thought into that outfit; it looks lovely,” or “I noticed you used some creative problem-solving to put that together.” Remember, while your daughter will receive many compliments about her beauty throughout her life, your encouragement about her unique qualities and efforts is invaluable.
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In summary, while it’s easy to admire your daughter’s beauty, it’s crucial to focus on her efforts and unique qualities. This approach not only builds her confidence but helps her understand her worth beyond physical appearance.