Parenting
How to Overcome the Weight of Criticism
by Emily Carter
Updated: May 29, 2021
Originally Published: May 29, 2021
While pursuing my master’s degree in viola performance, I was awarded an elite scholarship to attend the nine-week Aspen Music Festival in Aspen, CO. The news left me stunned—I felt undeserving, convinced that the judges must have erred. I believed there were many other musicians far more talented than I. Despite my efforts to remain positive, a sense of unworthiness settled in.
At the festival, my anxiety was validated when a fellow violist remarked that she didn’t care what “others thought,” asserting that I deserved the scholarship. It felt like she had reached into my gut and yanked out my self-esteem. I returned to my dorm in tears and experienced a panic attack during my lesson the following day. From that moment, performing solo became a daunting task. Despite the judges’ approval, the opinions of my peers weighed heavier on me.
The human ego can be complex. It can fuel unwavering confidence, deep insecurity, or misplaced arrogance. Criticism, depending on our self-worth and its source, can profoundly impact us. At that time, my self-esteem was tied to my skills and how others perceived them, leading me to absorb criticism indiscriminately. This was my first significant error.
Always Consider the Source
Many claim that our own opinions should be the only ones that matter. I beg to differ. We are all part of families, communities, and social networks, and our actions resonate within them. Thus, we often value the opinions of those close to us. If my partner critiques me, it’s because I trust their judgment. The same goes for my sister, my mom, my children, my writing partner, and my supervisors.
If you resolve to disregard everyone’s opinions, you may set yourself up for failure. You will and should care about certain people’s thoughts. The key is to determine who is allowed to influence your ego and whose criticism is worthwhile.
Occasionally, I receive messages from strangers online claiming I’m a terrible writer. Their feedback holds no weight for me. Their remarks often lack substance and are merely intended to provoke, showcasing their inability to construct a coherent argument against my work. Such comments are often riddled with errors, making them easy to dismiss—sometimes even laughable.
You may have a toxic individual in your life whose unwarranted criticism drains your confidence. This may lead you to second-guess yourself or attempt to meet their unrealistic standards. Remember: their opinion is just as insignificant as those random naysayers on the internet. If their words affect you negatively, it’s time to disregard their input.
Approach Constructive Criticism with a Growth Mindset
Understanding whose opinions are important is just one part of the equation; the ability to receive and evaluate feedback from valued individuals without feeling crushed is another challenge. When I began collaborating with my writing partner, she returned a piece of mine marked with edits galore, and I felt completely deflated. Her opinion mattered greatly to me, and I had tied my self-worth to my writing, making her feedback feel like a personal attack.
I had to shift my perspective. My writing partner was genuinely invested in helping me improve as a writer. She wanted to help me create work that would resonate with readers. Furthermore, her critiques were merely opinions; I wasn’t obligated to accept every suggestion.
After taking a moment to recover from the initial sting of her feedback, I began to view it through the lens of growth. Writing is a skill, and nobody is perfect. My writing is not my identity, and there is always room for improvement. It’s perfectly natural to feel a gut punch when receiving criticism—we are human, after all. We desire to excel, and it can be disheartening to acknowledge our shortcomings.
However, taking a step back to assess criticism objectively is crucial. What’s the source of this feedback? Should this person’s opinion matter? If the answer is yes, you may still feel that initial gut-punch sensation, and that’s okay. You can still foster a growth-oriented mindset.
If someone’s criticism resonates with you, it indicates that they care about your success. They’re not there to see you fail. So, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and consider how you can use their constructive feedback as a tool for personal growth. After all, nobody can fault you for striving to improve.
For further insights, check out this blog post or learn more about self-improvement at this expert site. Additionally, this resource provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Feeling overwhelmed by criticism is common, especially when our self-worth is tied to others’ opinions. Differentiating between valuable feedback and unhelpful criticism is essential. It’s important to consider the source of feedback, appreciate constructive criticism as a means for growth, and remember that no one is perfect. Embrace the journey of improvement with an open heart and mind.
SEO Metadata