How to Navigate Board Games with Kids in 35 Simple Steps

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Playing board games with children can often feel like an epic journey, far exceeding the brief instructions typically found in the game box. Here’s a comprehensive guide I follow, laid out in 35 steps:

1. Agree to engage in a board game with the kids.
2. Mediate a dispute over which game to play.
3. Reach a compromise: one round of each child’s preferred game.
4. Resolve the argument about whose game goes first by promising dessert if they stop bickering.
5. Discover that the first game is missing crucial pieces.
6. Shift gears and decide to start with the second game.
7. Realize that the second game also has missing pieces, but fewer than the first.
8. Send the kids on a mission to find a penny to replace the missing game piece.
9. Close your eyes while waiting for their return, as you’ll need energy for the upcoming game.
10. Upon their return, help them select their game pieces.
11. Step in to settle a dispute over who gets to use the penny.
12. Threaten to take the penny for yourself if they don’t resolve the issue quickly.
13. Remind the children how to play the game.
14. Take your turn.
15. Gently nudge the child to take her turn.
16. Repeat the game rules for the child again.
17. Take your turn.
18. Politely ask the child to remove the card from her mouth.
19. Take your turn.
20. Remind the child for the third time how to play, noting he was eager to play this game.
21. Take your turn, realizing you could win, but if you end it now, they might cry about the short duration.
22. Fake your moves to extend the game, patting yourself on the back for being a considerate parent.
23. Notice that while you were congratulating yourself, accusations of cheating arose, and one child has hurled her piece across the room.
24. Exclaim, “This is why we can’t have nice things!” while searching for the missing piece.
25. Find a second penny to use in place of the lost game piece.
26. Take a deep breath and encourage the child to take their turn so you can wrap up this game.
27. Take your turn.
28. Call the child’s name multiple times to get her attention for her turn.
29. She emerges victorious.
30. Agree to play additional rounds for second and third places to keep the peace.
31. Let the other child have second place to avoid disappointment.
32. Pretend to be disappointed with your third-place finish.
33. Start singing the “Clean Up Song” even as you clean up alone.
34. Assume you’re off the hook for board games until they remind you of the earlier compromise.
35. Repeat from step 4.

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Summary

Playing board games with children involves managing disputes, navigating through missing pieces, and ensuring everyone enjoys the experience. By following this 35-step plan, you can turn what often feels like chaos into a fun and memorable family activity.