When I casually mention that I’m the mother of five, people often pause, their expressions shifting to one of disbelief. There’s a certain stigma around having a large family—by societal standards, three kids is the generally accepted maximum (unless you belong to a large community). Anything above that garners confused looks and sympathetic remarks, like someone recently told me, “I’m so sorry,” as if my family size were a personal misfortune.
What many fail to realize is that once you surpass the magical number of three, the chaos just sort of blends together. Think of it like adding Metamucil to a milkshake—you hardly notice it. I actually experienced more meltdowns with my two rambunctious boys than I do now with five. It’s like running a circus here—sure, it’s a bit hectic, but we have a blast! We might not literally juggle knives or swing from the curtains, but there’s never a dull moment.
So, how do you survive while raising a small army? Here are ten essential rules:
- Name Tags for Everyone: It’s easy to mix up names when you have a crowd. “Is that Lila or Lisa?” A simple solution? Tattoo their names on their foreheads. If that’s too extreme, a Sharpie will do in a pinch.
- Stock Up on Ramen: Feeding a small army can get pricey! Ramen noodles are your best friend at just 10 cents each.
- Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Kids bickering? It’s part of the deal. Unless blood is involved, let them work it out. A little tussle now and then won’t hurt.
- Laundry is the Enemy: If clothes don’t smell like a barnyard or have any visible stains, let them wear it again. A spritz of AXE or Glade can cover up yesterday’s mishaps.
- The Power of the Finger: When multiple kids are clamoring for your attention, raise your finger in a “wait a moment” gesture. It confuses them and brings a moment of silence—if only for a few seconds!
- Forget the Sports Car: Embrace the minivan—or even better, a short bus. They double as RVs for spontaneous getaways.
- Showering is a Challenge: You’ll have mere seconds to wash up before kids storm the bathroom. A garden hose might become your best shower alternative—just line them up outside!
- The Assembly Line for Diapers: If you have several in diapers, lay them down in a line and change them like a production line. Efficiency is key!
- Duct Tape is Your Ally: It can hold everything together—literally! From securing diapers to fixing toys, keep a roll close. Just don’t use it on their mouths (obviously).
- Embrace the Chaos: There will be days when you just need to say, “Forget this!” It’s okay to step outside for a moment, take a drive, or pour yourself a glass of wine. Whatever it takes to recharge.
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In summary, while raising a large family can be chaotic, it’s also filled with joy and laughter. Embrace the madness and remember, you’re not alone in this journey!