How to Foster Lifelong Friendships that Last Over 40 Years

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Reflecting on my childhood, I never imagined that the girls I played tag with or partnered up with in dodgeball would become lifelong friends. It’s surprising to think about how we’ve managed to endure each other’s quirks for over four decades. Together, we’ve forged a bond that can’t be broken. Here are my thoughts on why I feel incredibly lucky to have these amazing women in my life, along with some tips that have helped me nurture these friendships over the years:

  1. Send Notes: Back in elementary school, we were experts at note-writing. While today we might rely on emails and quick texts, there was something special about scribbling secret messages. Our codes, often featuring little boxes marked “yes” or “no,” made us feel like we shared a unique language. Receiving a handwritten note from these girls today would still bring back fond memories.
  2. Perfect the Art of Folding Notes: Only true friends can fold notes so tightly that no parent could ever pry them open. We knew our secrets were safe with one another. Always keep those notes in your pocket; losing them at school could reveal your crushes and personal business to everyone.
  3. Ride Bikes Together: Forget the gym—nothing beats long bike rides filled with laughter and adventure. We created countless memories, especially when we spotted a cute boy and had to hide behind trees. A sneaky grab of some cash from mom’s purse could lead to well-deserved treats from the store.
  4. Host Sleepovers: The magic of a great sleepover lies in the late-night conversations. Before technology took over, we’d stay up sharing secrets and dreams. And if someone dozed off? You bet we’d have some fun at their expense! To this day, certain songs transport me back to those nights filled with laughter.
  5. Watch Scary Movies: Nothing brings friends closer than a good fright. Who else would reassure you that Freddy Krueger is just a movie character? Those late-night horror flicks create unforgettable bonding moments, even if they leave you terrified!
  6. Embrace Conflict: It’s natural to have disagreements, but working through them makes your friendship stronger. A heartfelt apology can lead to deeper connections.
  7. Be Supportive: Be there for your friends during tough times, like heartbreaks. When their high school boyfriend, who you knew was trouble, inevitably breaks their heart, let them lean on you. You’ll be there for each other through it all.
  8. Celebrate Milestones: Attend weddings and share in the joy of their special day. Build friendships with their partners too; respecting your friend means valuing those they love.
  9. Welcome New Beginnings: When your friend becomes a mom, offer support and honesty. Let her know it’s okay to feel lost in the whirlwind of parenting. Remember, no parenting manual can substitute for a non-judgmental friend who’s in the same boat.
  10. Share in Grief: When tragedy strikes, such as losing a parent, show up and grieve together. Your presence can provide comfort during an incredibly difficult time, as I vividly recall my friends being there for me when I lost my dad.
  11. Be There Through Tough Times: If your friend faces a divorce, offer your shoulder to lean on. Engage in some light-hearted banter about the ex while also being a source of strength and encouragement.
  12. Get to Know New Partners: When your friend remarries, embrace the new husband. He’ll appreciate your long-standing friendship with his wife, and your husbands can bond too, creating an even stronger friendship circle.
  13. Celebrate Each Other’s Children: Take pride in each other’s kids and share parenting tips. Complaining about your own children can lead to laughter and nostalgia about your teenage years.
  14. Stay Connected: Utilize social media, plan visits, and keep the lines of communication open. Random texts can brighten anyone’s day. Let your friends know how much they mean to you.
  15. Send Fun Follow-ups: After spending time together, send texts about how much you look forward to the next gathering, maybe with a cheeky photo to keep things light-hearted.

Having gone through thick and thin, you’ll know these friendships are here to stay. You may not chat every day, but when they reach out, you’ll drop everything to be there. These friendships are like family—though not related by blood, they are integral to your life and well-being.

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Summary

Cultivating lasting friendships takes effort, but with shared experiences, open communication, and mutual support, you can maintain strong bonds that last a lifetime. From navigating life’s ups and downs to celebrating each other’s successes, the key is to cherish these connections that feel like family.