1. Gather your friends over margaritas for a Girls Night Out, and spend a few hours finding a date that works for everyone for a night out at the club.
2. For the next two weeks, engage in a flurry of texts discussing the best clubs in town, despite the fact that most of you haven’t been downtown in ages, and few have any real knowledge of the latest hotspots.
3. Consider the pros and cons of hiring a limo or reserving a VIP table for the night. After two decades away from clubbing, it’s essential to make the experience memorable.
4. As the big night approaches, watch as friends start to bail out one by one, citing “family obligations.”
5. Complain to the remaining friends about what could possibly be more important than a night out clubbing.
6. Scramble to put together a last-minute plan to hit a suburban club instead.
7. Reflect on the idea of suburban clubbing. Is it a loss of dignity? A sensible choice? A desperate move?
8. Choose an outfit. Initially, you might go for a daring black mini and a fitted tank top, but ultimately settle for a cozy turtleneck dress paired with fleece-lined tights—perfectly suitable for both clubbing and an imaginary PTA meeting.
9. Arrive with your friends at the club by 10:15 p.m. on a Saturday, convinced you’re fashionably late, only to find the place nearly empty. In the suburbs, it seems like everyone else is already asleep.
10. Gawk at the $10 cover charge and ponder whether a Groupon could have made it cheaper.
11. Sit and sip drinks while loud music plays, as a few more patrons trickle in. You even consider a quick grocery run to Kroger next door while waiting for the crowd to swell.
12. Hit the dance floor with your friends, moving wildly even though the space is mostly empty.
13. Question why the DJ insists on filling the room with smoke when there’s hardly anyone there to enjoy it.
14. Wonder why you’re not receiving any attention from the opposite sex, especially since you feel fabulous in your turtleneck dress.
15. While taking a break on a couch, get playfully scolded by the bartender for lounging in the “VIP” area. Laugh at the notion that your sleepy suburb has a VIP section at all.
16. Leave the club sweaty and exhausted from dancing, returning home at 12:36 a.m., grateful for the chance to catch a few hours of sleep before the kids wake you up.
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In summary, clubbing in your 40s can be a fun yet challenging experience. With the right friends and a touch of humor, it’s possible to enjoy a night out, even if it means adapting to new venues and styles.