Navigating social media can sometimes feel like a competition, especially when it comes to interacting with your most exasperating Facebook friend. Here’s a playful guide on how to approach this uniquely challenging relationship.
1. Know the Rules
If you’ve shared or commented about chemtrails—those supposed chemical trails from planes that you believe are government mind-control projects—you’re out of the running. Anyone sharing content from sites like AmericanTruth.com, The Daily Observer, or ConspiracyZone.com is also disqualified. This is to ensure that true craziness doesn’t overshadow mere annoyance. Remember, as the poet Rumi wisely noted, “The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore.“
2. Rumi Quotes are a No-Go
If you’ve ever posted a quote from Rumi, you are also ineligible for this particular contest. We need to limit participants, and this seems to be the most effective method.
3. Vaccination Views
If you’ve ever claimed vaccinations lead to autism, or shared “evidence” supporting this belief, you cannot enter. (Refer to Rule 1). However, if you simply expressed that those who hold such beliefs should be free to voice them, you’re welcome to participate.
4. Expressions of Gratitude
If your posts include sentiments about being thankful for your mother’s cancer in remission or narrowly escaping a reckless driver, you may enter, but the genuine nature of such gratitude may hinder your chances. On the other hand, if you express thankfulness for “delicious snacks” or the chance to address your “issues around impermanence” due to your mother’s illness, you are encouraged to enter. Using the hashtag #grateful with a picture of a field of wildflowers will grant you five bonus points, provided it was posted before the contest announcement.
5. Name Changes Matter
If you’ve changed your name, please list any former names so that no part of your posting history is overlooked. If you used to go by Captain Whimsical, don’t illustrate this with a whimsical drawing; just write it out plainly. If you’ve switched names more than 14 times in two years or been through more than seven names in four years, we’ll need a printed history of your posts and comments from Facebook, categorized by each name. There might be a special prize if your name changes contributed to your annoyance factor.
Lastly, don’t let a “break from Facebook” deter you from entering, especially if your last update mentioned wanting to be more present for loved ones. And if you’ve taken the Buzzfeed quiz “Which Harry Potter Character Are You?”, steer clear of this contest; it might be a tiebreaker topic.
For more insights on home insemination, check out this post. And for more information on motherhood, consider reading this article, which is a valuable resource. If you’re looking into pregnancy methods, Healthline provides excellent information.
In summary, while engaging with your most annoying Facebook friend, always remember the rules, the nuances of gratitude, and the importance of your social media history. This playful guide serves to navigate the complex waters of social media interactions, ensuring you can engage without losing your sanity.