As the school year winds down, parents of high school seniors are struck by the inevitable reality of spring: the bittersweet departure of their child for college. Your child, now on the brink of adulthood at 18, is eager to escape the home you’ve lovingly created over the years.
I have some advice to share, and while you can choose to ignore it, I encourage you to read on. You’re just months away from the moment your child actually leaves home, and it’s vital to prepare for this significant transition.
The pride you feel for their achievements and the love you have for their adventurous spirit will soon be put to the test. It’s time to step up and support them as they take this leap. I’ve experienced it myself—giving my daughter a hug, telling her how proud I was, and then sobbing uncontrollably all the way home as my husband asked, “Are you okay?” Spoiler alert: I was not okay, and my life was changed forever.
Here are five essential tips to help you navigate your child’s move to college:
- Assist with Packing, but Don’t Take Over
It sounds simple, but you’d be surprised at what your child might overlook when packing. Spend time reviewing the dorm checklist together and take them shopping for essentials like toiletries, a shower caddy, and new towels. New towels might ease your worries about their dorm living conditions. Don’t hesitate to shed a few tears during this process; it’s a huge moment, and you deserve to feel it all. - Lists Are Your Best Friends
Universities love checklists for packing, and so should you. These lists help ensure nothing important is forgotten. From approved appliances to bathroom essentials, following these lists will give you a sense of accomplishment and preparation. Trust me; it’s a productive way to cope with the impending changes. - Discuss Finances Openly
Having a single conversation about budgeting won’t cut it. In fact, my 20-year-old gets financial check-ins at least four times a year. Budgeting is a crucial life skill; the more you discuss it, the easier it becomes for them. Life is costly, and they’ll face temptations like overpriced game-day outfits. Encourage them to balance fun with responsibility; it’s all part of growing up. - Be Their Parent, Not Their Friend
This is tough, but remember that your role is to guide, not just to be liked. Your unconditional love empowers you to set boundaries and challenge them when needed. College is their job now, and it’s crucial to hold them accountable. Schedule regular check-ins to discuss their progress. This isn’t about winning a popularity contest; it’s about nurturing a responsible and caring adult. - Look Them in the Eye and Say Goodbye
Saying farewell can feel like losing a part of yourself. Prepare for that emotional weight. It’s essential to show them you are okay, so practice smiling through the tears. Tell them how proud you are and that you believe in their ability to thrive. When I walked away from my daughter’s dorm, I didn’t breathe until I reached my car. You’ll find your way through this; your new normal is just around the corner.
It’s all part of the journey, and they will be home again soon enough for the holidays.
In summary, saying goodbye to your college freshman can be a heart-wrenching experience, but with preparation and open communication, you can navigate this transition. Focus on packing together, utilizing checklists, discussing finances, maintaining your parental role, and ensuring a heartfelt goodbye.