It was just another Saturday morning at my son’s youth soccer match when I witnessed a parent lose their cool over a referee’s call. This was a local league in a quaint Oregon town, where kids aged 9 to 10 were simply out there having fun. I can’t recall the specifics of the call that triggered this outburst, but the parent went off the rails, turning red in the face, as if he were watching the World Cup instead of a kids’ game where juice boxes and graham crackers are the post-game treats.
Eventually, his spouse had to escort him to the car, and I was left dumbfounded by his behavior. Seriously, it’s just a game! At such a young age, children learn just as much from losing as they do from winning. Youth sports are meant to cultivate resilience, teamwork, friendships, and fitness. Yet, this parent acted as though it were a matter of life or death.
This incident came to mind when I stumbled across an article in the New York Times about a Facebook group called “Offside.” The group was initiated by an Oklahoma youth soccer referee named Mark Johnson, who offers a $100 reward for each embarrassing clip of parents overreacting at youth sporting events. His aim? To use public shaming to combat the growing issue of unruly parents.
Is “unruly” really the right term? I think “verbally abusive” or “violent” fits much better. Just scroll through some videos on Offside’s page, and you’ll find fathers clad in cargo shorts and polo shirts throwing punches over a questionable call. It’s downright shocking.
Take, for example, this clip from a semi-final basketball match in Pennsylvania that spiraled into chaos as fans clashed in the stands. Or consider this video of a youth soccer game, where a dad swings at the referee while children—yes, CHILDREN—intervene to break it up. And don’t forget this charming moment where a man repeatedly yells, “You are horrible” at a youth game. Seriously, do these people really need to see themselves acting like this to understand how inappropriate it is?
Mark Johnson’s mission highlights a troubling reality: many referees, whether volunteers or paid, leave the field due to such abuse. It’s time for parents to grow up. If you can’t keep your fists to yourself, put them in your pockets. If you can’t say something nice, just stay quiet. These are lessons most of us learned as children, and we try to pass them down to our kids. But when you have a meltdown at a sporting event, those lessons seem to vanish, teaching your child that it’s acceptable to lash out.
Your children are watching and learning from your behavior. They absorb what you value and what you disregard. And let’s face it—youth sports simply aren’t that important. Sure, they provide valuable experiences for kids, but not one single point, goal, or touchdown is worth resorting to violence, hurling insults, or inciting a brawl. None. It’s not worth showing your kids the wrong way to handle disappointment.
So let’s take a collective breath and remember what truly matters. It’s just a game. If your child’s team is on the receiving end of a bad call, use that moment to teach them about resilience and perseverance. Losing isn’t a reason to throw in the towel or start a fight; it’s an opportunity to learn, improve, and bounce back. And if you see another parent acting out, don’t hesitate to call them out. We can’t allow such behavior to go unchecked.
Now, I’m not suggesting you put yourself in harm’s way—watching those videos shows that’s a genuine concern. But if enough people stand up against this behavior, we can return to enjoying chips and soda while our kids get the exercise they need. Doesn’t that sound nice?
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Summary
Mark Johnson, a youth soccer referee, is tackling the issue of disruptive parents at children’s sporting events by offering rewards for footage of their unacceptable behavior. The focus should be on teaching kids valuable lessons about resilience and sportsmanship rather than modeling aggression. Parents need to remember that youth sports are about fun, learning, and building character, not winning at all costs.