The clutter in my home seems to have a life of its own, multiplying with alarming speed. (I suspect my partner and kids are the culprits.) To combat this relentless mess, I turned to Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. Her so-called “revolutionary” approach promised a transformative tidying experience, and the best part? If I adhered to her guidance, I’d never have to organize again. Intrigued, I ordered the book along with a Veggetti Spiral Vegetable Slicer—clearly, I was setting myself up for success.
As I dove into the 204 pages, I was searching for the secrets to effortless tidying, but to my disappointment, there were no magical Japanese fairies to do the work for me. The KonMari Method requires you to tackle the clutter yourself, sorting through your belongings category by category and employing special storage techniques for the items you decide to keep.
The Great Purge
Kondo suggests conducting a comprehensive sweep of your home, discarding all unnecessary items in one marathon tidying session. I doubt she has children—or the extra baggage they bring—or that she has endless free time. Nevertheless, her vision seemed appealing, so I set aside a weekend and coaxed my partner, Tom, into joining me.
“Our lives will truly transform once we declutter our home. It says so right here!” I proclaimed, pointing emphatically at the book.
“Are we really going to tackle the entire house? Can’t we just focus on one room at a time?” he asked, likely hoping I’d lose steam after the first day.
“Absolutely not,” I retorted. “The KonMari Method is all about purging everything at once and by category, not by room. We start with clothing, then books, papers, the mysterious komono, and finally…”
“What’s komono?” he interrupted.
“I can’t remember—some Japanese term for ‘the rest of your stuff.’ Regardless, we’ll tackle the komono and finish with sentimental items, which are the toughest to part with.”
In the end, Tom reluctantly agreed, possibly lured by the promise of romance in our newly organized space.
Does It Spark Joy?
The fundamental principle of the method is determining whether each item sparks joy. Yes, you read that right. You hold an object, look deep within yourself, and decide based on the joy it brings. By that standard, I would only keep a few essentials: my wine, my intimate toys, and my family (and some days, just the family dog).
Sorting His Clothes
Bright and early on Saturday, Tom and I began with the first category: his wardrobe.
“Let’s get started. First, pile all your clothes on the floor,” I instructed.
“On the floor? That sounds ridiculous. We won’t be able to walk around or get snacks!” he protested.
Acknowledging his point (a rare occurrence), we compromised and dumped his dresser and closet contents onto the bed instead.
“Don’t forget your coats! Gather all your clothing from the entire house!” I urged. I could have sworn I heard him mutter something as he retrieved his outerwear.
“Does it spark joy? Does it?” I repeatedly asked while dodging the garments he tossed my way.
I have to hand it to Tom; he was decisive about what sparked joy for him. Unfortunately, many items I had bought for him ended up in the discard pile. I struggled to keep quiet until I finally snapped.
“You’re tossing out all your sweaters?” I exclaimed incredulously.
“Why would I wear those unless you’re dressing me? Which, by the way, isn’t exactly a joy. Now if you undressed me…” he winked.
“Nice try. Keep dreaming,” I shot back.
Organizing the Keepers
Once Tom had culled his joyless clothes, we proceeded to organize what remained.
“Can’t we just return them to the dresser and closet as they were? There’s so much more space now,” he whined.
“Absolutely not,” I replied firmly. “We need to fold and arrange them lovingly into tiny rectangles and hang up the happier items. Clothes have feelings too, especially these few survivors. They probably feel guilty for surviving while others did not.”
“Are you serious?” he asked, baffled.
“Yup. Do it right or face the wrath of the KonMari Method,” I warned him.
It quickly became evident that while Tom excelled at purging, folding wasn’t his strong suit.
“You’re not folding those correctly,” I chastised, then made him watch instructional videos online as we refolded his T-shirts. “And we need to redo your socks. Never ball them up; it stretches out the fabric and doesn’t give them the rest they deserve. Properly folded socks experience more joy,” I instructed.
“You’re losing it,” he grumbled.
“Hey, don’t blame me. This is the KonMari Method! We should be thanking our socks daily for their hard work. We’re stepping into the role of Clothes Whisperers.”
“Are we going to still be married by the end of this?” he wondered aloud.
My Turn to Purge
My own purging process was much slower. I struggled to identify what truly sparked joy beyond my previously mentioned essentials. “Does this outfit spark joy for you?” I repeatedly asked Tom, who wisely chose to keep his thoughts to himself.
I also realized a fair number of my clothes no longer fit. They didn’t spark joy at the moment, but they surely would once I lost those ten extra pounds. So, I regretfully boxed them up for storage in the garage, probably breaking several rules along the way.
By the end of day one, however, we had successfully cleared ten garbage bags of clothing and accessories and arranged our remaining items with the care they deserved. It was a painful process, but our closets looked fantastic. While they may not have changed my life, they certainly brought me a sense of happiness.
Moving On
“Are you ready for the next step?” I asked Tom enthusiastically.
“What? We spent the whole day on clothes! There’s no way we’ll finish the rest of the house this weekend,” he protested.
“Of course we can! Let’s power through! We can stay up all night!” I cheered.
To which Tom replied, “You no longer spark joy in me. Get in the garbage bag.”
Realizing that my marriage was at stake, I shifted my focus to tidying up our bedroom instead, aiming for at least one transformed space. I moved the remaining items—books, papers, and komono—to the office for sorting on a future weekend.
What Did I Learn?
If my bedroom is any indication, the KonMari Method can yield excellent results throughout the rest of my home. Despite the disagreements with Tom, I genuinely believe that decluttering by category and eliminating items that don’t bring joy is an effective strategy. Will it change my life? Only time will tell.
The method offers fantastic folding tips, but let’s be realistic—I can barely manage the laundry each week. There’s no chance I’ll perfectly fold all of my clothes using her techniques. My clean laundry will just have to find happiness in the basket. And as for talking to my socks? I’ll pass, regardless of what Kondo suggests.
In summary, the experience taught me valuable lessons about organization and the importance of working together, even in the face of a cluttered home. When tackling any project, especially one as daunting as decluttering, it helps to have a partner—though a little patience goes a long way.
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