It all began with a relentless headache. For four days, it lingered, impervious to medication, coffee, or even sleep. When I consulted my doctor, he brushed it off, saying, “You’ve experienced headaches before; there’s nothing to worry about.” But in the stillness of the night, everything changed.
In an instant, I felt a sudden “pop” in my head, and just like that, the headache vanished. I was jolted awake by a warm sensation coursing through my mind. A friend had recently lost her mother to a brain aneurysm, and panic gripped me; I thought, “This is it!” I shook my partner awake and called 911. As I sat on the hallway carpet, rocking back and forth, I could hear my daughter crying in her crib. In that moment, I was consumed by the thought, “She will never remember me.” I began recording a message on my partner’s phone, praying it would never be needed.
“Hi sweetie, I’m your mama. I love you so much.” That night marked a turning point in my life—not because of the physical challenges that followed, but because my perspective shifted irrevocably.
Motherhood is often described as having a piece of your heart living outside of your body. As the paramedics worked, I realized that if those were my last moments, my daughter would have no memory of me—only remnants of my existence: photos, notes, and the stories others would tell her. This realization prompted a deep reflection: what stories would they share? I didn’t like the answer, so I resolved to change it.
As a parent and a human being, I urge you to consider what others will say about you when you’re gone. Are you kind? Thoughtful? Generous? I strive to be those things now. You don’t have to dwell on your past to take pride in who you are today. A moment is all it takes to transform your mindset. Replacing negativity with positivity can be life-changing, and surrounding yourself with uplifting people can have immeasurable benefits. Take a moment to evaluate your daily interactions—if change is needed, embrace it.
A friend recently visited and remarked, “You haven’t spoken poorly about anyone all day.” At first, I was surprised, but then I remembered how easy it used to be to engage in gossip. However, it’s even simpler to be kind. When you stop discussing others, you discover the joy of meaningful conversations about ideas, dreams, and values.
I’m not here to preach; I’m just an imperfect individual aiming to leave behind a positive legacy. You should aim for the same, as tomorrow is never guaranteed. I’m grateful for the second chance I’ve been given, and perhaps part of that is to share this message: Live fully. Put your phone away, engage with those around you, hold doors open, smile at strangers, express gratitude, and genuinely love yourself. People won’t remember the specifics of your appearance, but they will recall how you made them feel. So, walk gracefully, speak confidently, love tenderly, and don’t hesitate to reach out to someone who crosses your mind. Allow yourself happiness in every phase of life.
What do I want my daughter to remember about me? That I smiled, laughed, and loved deeply—every single moment I was blessed with. And I hope the same can be said for you.
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In summary, my encounter with fear transformed my outlook on life. By embracing kindness, love, and authenticity, we can leave behind meaningful legacies that endure beyond our time.