In 2017, after undergoing a bone marrow transplant, my eight-year-old daughter Mia and I found ourselves confined to the isolation ward at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. The medical team had deliberately eradicated her immune system with chemotherapy and radiation, paving the way for the transplanted cells to thrive. Thankfully, the procedure was a success, and after enduring four months of strict isolation, we finally returned home. However, this was when my true fears began.
The doctors warned that it would take six to nine months for Mia’s new immune system to stabilize. Until then, exposure to any germs, viruses, mold, or spores could be life-threatening. Apart from medical visits, we were in a bubble of social isolation for six long months. I want to share the insights our family gained during this challenging time, especially as you and others navigate varying degrees of isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Maintain Structure
Initially, the hospital’s child life specialist suggested we uphold family rules as if everything was normal, which felt counterintuitive. However, she was spot on. Children are perceptive; if you relax the rules, they may interpret it as a lack of hope for their growth into responsible adults. You might be struggling, but it’s essential to maintain the existing family guidelines. Adjust the consequences if necessary, but strive to preserve the stability that rules provide.
Be Honest
This might seem counterintuitive, particularly for younger children. Mia was just four when she was first diagnosed. The child life specialist advised us to communicate the truth in an age-appropriate manner. We explained her cancer diagnosis, procedures, and potential side effects honestly. We learned that avoiding difficult truths can lead to anxiety and uncertainty for children. As Mr. Rogers wisely said, “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable.”
Don’t Just Survive
During a crisis, it’s crucial not to merely tread water. You must maintain your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. I learned this lesson the hard way while living in the hospital. In my effort to care for Mia, I neglected my own basic needs—hunger and exhaustion. I eventually found myself overwhelmed. In times of crisis, it’s vital to prioritize self-care; ignoring your needs only creates new problems.
Identify Your Minimum
While at the hospital, I discovered that every parent must identify their minimum self-care needs during a crisis. This could be as simple as enjoying a piece of good chocolate each night, savoring a warm cup of coffee, or taking a long shower. Whatever it is, it must happen daily. This daily victory is essential for maintaining your strength during difficult times.
Take Shortcuts
There’s a time for perfection, but it’s not now. When chaos reigns, prioritize your energy. Use disposable plates instead of arguing about dish duty. Don’t exhaust yourself trying to keep everything spotless. During a crisis, embrace shortcuts to conserve your energy for what truly matters.
Let Go of Control
While isolating at home, I found myself obsessively organizing the kitchen. It was my way of reclaiming control in a world that felt chaotic. However, I quickly learned that striving for complete control is both unrealistic and exhausting. Accepting the uncertainty of life is difficult, but it alleviates some of the pressure we place on ourselves. Focusing on what you can control brings clarity and peace.
These insights were crucial during our months of isolation, and they remain relevant today. Acknowledging that I couldn’t control everything lifted a weight off my shoulders; I learned to concentrate my energy on what I could influence.
If you’re looking for more tips on navigating isolation and its challenges, check out one of our other blog posts here. For further reading on health issues like sickle cell anemia, visit this resource. Additionally, if you’re interested in pregnancy and home insemination, this is an excellent resource.
Summary
Navigating six months of strict isolation with my daughter taught me invaluable lessons about maintaining structure, honesty, self-care, and the importance of letting go of control. These insights can help others manage the unique challenges of isolation during crises.