Updated: Aug. 2, 2016
Originally Published: July 20, 2015
My 20-month-old son is fussing. He longs for the shiny, all-metal cowboy cap gun that his older brothers are currently engrossed in. With each satisfying clunk of the trigger, they aim at invisible villains and at each other, fully immersed in their imaginative battles while proudly wearing their flimsy holsters.
Five years ago, I would have never permitted such play. I hold strong anti-gun beliefs, believing that handguns should be outlawed. I firmly resolved that my children would not engage with toy guns, particularly handguns, as they symbolize violence and death. I feared that letting them play with guns would send the wrong message, reinforcing the notion that firearms are acceptable. This concern became even more pronounced when I considered the potential dangers of gunplay, echoing the sentiments of many who advocate for stricter gun control.
The shift began with “Star Wars.” My husband introduced it to our eldest when he was just three. Suddenly, concepts like “blasters” entered our vocabulary. Lacking a proper blaster, he began crafting makeshift versions from Duplo blocks, which soon decorated our living room floor as they shattered during play. Outside, he discovered sticks, transforming them into his own “blasters” while making instinctive “pew, pew” sounds. Some were small, others large, but he insisted on keeping them, stashing them in the car.
Realizing that I was fighting a losing battle, I conceded. If I continued to confiscate his creations, he’d likely find ways to create guns from his fingers. He could engage in “blaster” play, I decided — but it was crucial to enforce that they only aimed at imaginary foes, not real people. My friend Carla and I established similar rules during our playdates, reminding our sons to “shoot at the bad guys.”
Despite our best intentions, we knew they were still pointing their makeshift weapons at each other when our backs were turned. Repeatedly, we told them not to aim at friends, gradually allowing the term “gun” to slip into our conversations. “No guns pointed at people!” became a mantra, echoed by both Carla and me.
Eventually, we surrendered to the inevitable. The boys roamed freely, creating guns from anything they could find, blaring “pew” at each other. It wasn’t long before my son owned a “blaster” — a rounded, chubby toy that made space gun noises and lit up when triggered. He treasured it above all else and proudly wielded it, an ironic prize for good behavior.
Once one blaster entered the house, the floodgates opened. My eldest, now nearly five, watched as his younger brother, age three, also wanted a toy of his own. Soon, they were clamoring for more, including brightly colored water pistols for summer fun. Their imaginative games revolved around pretend guns and swords, filling our home with the sounds of their playful warfare.
I remained adamant about keeping realistic-looking guns out of our home. However, everything changed when my three-year-old received a reward for using the potty while we were at a local store. He spotted a cowboy cap gun, and in a moment of weakness, I let him take it to the register. He was ecstatic, and as soon as we hit the car, he unveiled his new toy. Just like that, a genuine toy gun joined our collection.
While I still feel mixed about the level of gunplay in our house, I find comfort in the fact that they mostly aim at imaginary foes. We’ve discussed what to do if they ever encounter a real gun. My commitment to gun control remains unwavering, but I’ve learned that parenting doesn’t always align with personal beliefs. Sometimes, it’s about finding a balance and accepting that a little imaginative play — even with toy guns — is okay.
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Summary:
In this candid reflection, Rebecca Thompson shares her journey from staunch opposition to toy guns in her household to navigating the reality of her children’s imaginative play. Despite her anti-gun stance, she learns to accept their creativity while maintaining a dialogue about safety and responsibility.