I no longer celebrate Father’s Day with my parent. No, my biological father is very much alive, but they now identify as a woman. To clarify, the person responsible for my existence has transitioned and is now living as a woman. That means significant physical changes have taken place, including surgery and a new wardrobe that reflects her identity.
I wish this revelation didn’t come as a shock to some. I aspire to live in a society where every individual is accepted for who they are, where transformations and personal expressions are met with understanding rather than judgment. However, I recognize that for many, this situation can be challenging to comprehend, especially if they haven’t encountered anything similar. Just as my father took years to understand and accept her true self, I too required time to fully embrace her transition.
I first learned about my father’s gender identity in my mid-twenties during a holiday gathering at my parents’ home with my husband. My father asked to speak with us privately, and a wave of worry washed over me. Was there news of illness? When we sat down, my father reached straight for the heart of the matter: “There’s a woman inside of me. I cross-dress sometimes to let her out.”
My reaction was one of utter shock. I had anticipated a serious health discussion, not this revelation. My husband stepped in, saying, “Richard, we love you no matter who you are.” Internally I shouted, “Exactly! What he said!” but outwardly, I asked if there were any pictures. My father, now Josephine, happily shared images, knowing my inquiry signaled acceptance.
Initially, I accepted Josephine’s new identity wholeheartedly, but I also grappled with feelings of loss. With the help of a therapist, I learned that grief and acceptance can coexist. While I mourned the father I had known, I also welcomed the new chapter with Josephine.
Josephine, an engineer, likened her transition to updating hardware and software: the exterior changes while the core remains the same. This analogy resonates, and I hope it fosters greater acceptance of transgender individuals like Josephine. Ultimately, we should judge people by their character, not their gender identity. Josephine is genuinely kind and loving.
It’s disheartening to see how some adults struggle with Josephine’s transition. I often avoid discussing it with friends for fear they won’t be understanding. Thankfully, children tend to be more open-minded. For instance, when my daughter was in preschool, she asked about my father. I explained, “My father was a man named Richard who felt like a woman inside. She is now Grandma Jo.” After considering my words, she said, “That’s sad. But I love Grandma Jo, and I’m happy to have her.” Even at four years old, she grasped the nuances of sadness and joy in our family’s transformation.
Josephine has embraced her identity and is genuinely happy, and I am happy for her. Just because I no longer have a father doesn’t mean I’ve lost a parent; I simply have a different kind of parent—a transgender parent.
Navigating how to celebrate Josephine can be tricky. It feels inappropriate to honor her on Father’s Day since she no longer identifies as a father, and Mother’s Day feels equally off. What I’ve learned is that I don’t need a specific holiday to celebrate my transgender parent. I can do this every day because, irrespective of her gender, she will always be my parent.
If you’re interested in learning more about personal stories and insights around family transformations, consider checking out other resources like this article on home insemination kits. Additionally, for expert advice on family planning and fertility, you may want to visit Dr. Emily Carter’s exciting news for appointments, who is an authority on this topic. For broader information on pregnancy, the CDC offers excellent resources.
In summary, my journey to embrace my transgender parent has been filled with both challenges and joy. Acceptance can coexist with feelings of loss, and every day provides an opportunity to celebrate the love and connection we share.