How Gardening Uncovered a Gap in My Self-Care

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In 2020, my partner and I embarked on our journey as novice gardeners. We invested in a modest two-foot by eight-foot raised garden bed, placing it on our deck right outside the back door. This was our first attempt at growing our own food, and the old adage, “Necessity is the mother of invention,” certainly rang true during an unprecedented pandemic.

Our initial gardening lessons came with heartache. After starting our seeds indoors, we moved them to larger cell trays, which we carelessly set in our garage beneath some flimsy grow lights purchased online. The next morning, we were met with devastation: every single seedling had been devoured. We had planted over 100 seedlings, only to discover we had unwittingly invited a family of voles into our garage.

Despite a rocky start in 2020, we were determined for a better outcome in 2021. That summer, we enjoyed some success with romaine lettuce and zucchini, though our tomato plants began to flower just as the first frost hit. We decided to tackle a cut flower garden for the new season, crafting plans for three additional raised beds filled with Colorado-friendly blooms. We meticulously designed spreadsheets and color-coded graphics for our planting schedule.

However, as I delved deeper into the complexities of growing and harvesting, I quickly felt overwhelmed by the intricate details involved in nurturing living organisms. One revelation that struck me was the critical role of soil health in gardening, a connection I had never fully grasped before: the medium in which plants grow directly influences their ability to thrive.

I learned that even houseplants require re-potting every year, with a recommendation to replace 25% of the soil with fresh compost each spring. I followed this advice for the first time, and to my delight, several of my plants began to flourish. I also discovered that different plants have varied fertilization needs based on their pH levels. Realizing my initial planting plan was flawed due to incompatible pH requirements among the flowers only added to my stress.

Each plant had specific spatial needs, requiring special support systems to prevent them from collapsing under their weight. Watering needs further complicated matters; some flowers needed daily watering while others preferred a light misting or would perish if their leaves got wet.

As I navigated these challenges, I began to recognize a troubling truth about my own self-care. One evening, after feeling frustrated by the demands of a single flower, I realized I wanted a beautiful garden that required minimal effort. This epiphany was a jarring wake-up call; my expectations were clearly misaligned with the reality of cultivating life.

This experience led me to reflect on my past roles as a writer and editor in the corporate world, where creativity often thrived under neglect. I recalled how some colleagues faced daily disdain from supervisors yet were expected to perform critical tasks. Gardening, in contrast, demands attention to detail, as neglect can have immediate, dire consequences for plants.

How often do we expect our lives to flourish without putting in the necessary work? I remembered my father’s experience in a company that disregarded employee well-being, leaving him to labor under harsh conditions without support. If gardeners treated their plants like that, nothing would grow.

This realization opened my eyes to how we often treat ourselves as disposable. If nature rejects the idea that living beings can be mistreated and still thrive, why do we accept less for ourselves?

As the 2021 gardening season comes to an end, I now appreciate the profound lessons gardening offers. I once believed food came solely from stores, but I now understand the science, strategy, and care that go into every successful garden. I find myself acknowledging that I expect aspects of my life to flourish without fully engaging with them, a notion I suspect is a defense mechanism or perhaps a form of laziness.

Ultimately, my garden has taught me about interdependence; when one plant struggles, others are likely affected, even if the damage isn’t immediately visible. This concept extends to our lives: when we neglect our well-being, it impacts those around us.

Imagine treating ourselves with the same care we give our flowers. What if we recognized our interconnectedness and truly embraced the idea of belonging to one another? Perhaps then, we would all begin to thrive.

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Summary:

Gardening has shed light on the importance of self-care, revealing how neglecting our own needs mirrors the demands of nurturing plants. This journey highlights the interconnectedness of our well-being and the need for attentive care in all aspects of life.