Parenting
By Jessica Thompson
Updated: April 24, 2020
Originally Published: September 24, 2017
It was 2 a.m. and my two-week-old baby was crying again. As I struggled to master breastfeeding, each time he latched on, I felt a jolt of pain. It seemed like he wanted to eat every five minutes! My mother suggested giving him a bottle for a break, while his dad was blissfully asleep in another room. The only friend who could offer guidance was over a thousand miles away and ignoring my texts.
Of course, my little one always timed his cries to disrupt my sleep during the night. During the daytime, he was a perfect angel, making me ponder whether to tackle the laundry or seize the opportunity for a nap. (Spoiler alert: always choose sleep!) The idea of that bottle was becoming increasingly tempting.
Then, I remembered a Facebook group about breastfeeding that my friend had recommended when I was six months pregnant. “You’ll thank me later,” she said back then. Now, I truly needed that support. I opened the Facebook app, located the group, and sent out an S.O.S.
“HELP! WHY WON’T THIS BABY SLEEP? MY BOOBS HURT SO BAD AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”
Within five minutes, a notification popped up. Someone was responding! An empathetic fellow mom, probably juggling a baby while typing, reassured me that what I was experiencing was normal cluster feeding. As long as my baby was peeing and pooping regularly, everything was okay. She encouraged me to keep going; it would get better.
I’ll forever be grateful to that woman, whose name I can’t recall, and to social media for being an unsung hero in many breastfeeding journeys. This might not be groundbreaking advice, but as a new mom, I desperately needed to hear that reassurance. It was comforting to know I wasn’t alone and that this was a normal phase.
Social media truly deserves more credit for helping mothers navigate the challenges of breastfeeding, often amidst well-meaning but misguided advice from relatives and friends. Those women, known only by their names and avatars, often provide the encouragement we need to persevere. They might share tips about latching and increasing supply, and when the situation becomes overwhelming, they often suggest consulting a certified lactation consultant.
Some group members may even be lactation consultants themselves, or experienced mothers who have successfully breastfed multiple children. The best part? They’re always there, 24/7. While I did visit a wonderful lactation consultant a few days later and attended in-person support meetings, nothing compared to having that immediate support late at night when I was hesitant to reach for the formula.
Maybe those who criticize breastfeeding moms for spending time on their phones should consider what they’re actually doing. They could be connecting with breastfeeding support groups, discussing issues like thrush or deciding when to start pumping for work. Or, they might just be scrolling through celebrity gossip to distract themselves from the discomfort of nursing.
I’m not buying into every trend that promises to boost milk supply. The best advice I received was simply to nurse on demand or pump every 2-3 hours at work to maintain my supply. After that chaotic night, my baby and I went on to breastfeed for 2 ½ years. My online breastfeeding buddies became my lifeline for all things related to nursing, always there in my moments of need—especially late at night.
When my second child arrived, I was much more relaxed during those nighttime cluster feeds. I knew the drill. So, one night at 2 a.m., I turned on my phone, cradled my baby, and scrolled through Facebook.
“HELP! MY BABY WON’T STOP FEEDING, AND I’M UNSURE IF I HAVE ENOUGH MILK! WHAT NOW?” I typed, asking about diaper counts and latching. All good?
“Nurse on, Mama. You’ve got this. Everything will be fine.”
In summary, social media can be a fantastic resource for breastfeeding support, offering reassurance and helpful advice from fellow mothers. It’s a testament to the power of community in overcoming the challenges of nursing.