I’ve never been one to embrace change. My comfort zones are well-established, from my faded cream bedsheets to my trusty travel mug that fits just right in the car’s cup holder. I tend to stick to the familiar—whether it’s the pizza place that recognizes my order or the favorite pair of brown corduroys from my childhood. This preference for routine, while comforting, became more pronounced when I became a parent.
When my son, Max, began to show an aversion to trying new things—just as I had in my youth—I found myself at a loss. I had never confronted these challenges from the perspective of a parent. His selective eating habits soon narrowed our meals to just applesauce pouches and French fries, echoing my own childhood fears of the unknown. I delivered the usual parental platitudes, holding up a piece of broccoli and insisting, “You won’t know until you try it.” However, my words lacked conviction, as I too struggled with the idea of change.
As Max started rejecting different books and clothing options, I often asked him, “Aren’t you bored with those?” He always insisted he wasn’t. I could relate. I could easily name my three staple pants and my go-to movies on Netflix, avoiding the risk of venturing into something new and potentially disappointing. Max, like me, found solace in the known.
Yet, change is a necessary part of life. It brings seasons, sales, and the ebb and flow of the tides. To help him develop into an adult capable of fostering meaningful connections and learning from failures, I realized I needed to step outside my comfort zone alongside him. Together, we established three guiding principles to embrace new experiences:
1. It’s okay not to love it.
Not every experience must be extraordinary. Some may simply be “okay.” The fear of disappointment often held me back—“What if I try it and it’s not as great as I hoped?” I took a leap and ordered a different drink at Starbucks while Max selected a new book from the library. They may not have surpassed our usual favorites, but the goal was to expand our horizons, and we succeeded.
2. You don’t have to be the best.
I’ve recently learned to appreciate being a novice. In the past, I focused solely on my strengths, but there’s value in exploring new interests without the pressure to excel. I began following a new cooking blog and experimenting with recipes. Max eagerly joined as my test taster. He also finally ventured out on the bike that had been collecting dust since Christmas.
Neither of us achieved instant success, but the journey of learning to make gazpacho and watching him cautiously ride down the driveway was rewarding. Accepting that we don’t have to be perfect alleviated some of the pressure, especially since there will always be others who are more skilled.
3. Try at least three times.
The first two attempts at gazpacho resulted in a concoction that resembled a green face mask. However, by the third attempt, I managed to create something palatable. Max initially detested the bike, begging to quit after toppling over like a flipped turtle. I insisted he give it three more tries before making a decision. Often, it’s not the activity itself that’s undesirable, but the overwhelming sensation of newness; you can’t truly gauge your feelings until you acclimate.
This unexpected journey into trying new things to support my son has been enlightening. Had it not been for Max, I might not have taken this step. Children inspire us to evolve for their benefit and our own.
Looking ahead, we have more adventures planned; Max is set to try soccer this fall, and I’m gearing up for a cooking class. Gradually, the act of embracing new experiences is becoming more familiar to us.
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Summary:
The author reflects on how becoming a parent prompted her to confront her aversion to new experiences. By encouraging her son to explore unfamiliar things, she also embarked on her own journey of growth. Together, they established mantras to embrace change, recognizing that not every experience has to be extraordinary or perfect. The journey has led to shared adventures and a newfound appreciation for trying new things.