My son, Ethan, hit every developmental milestone except for speech. The day my husband and I received the speech therapist’s report about Ethan’s language delay felt like a heartbreaking blow. As a parent of a child with special needs, that moment is etched in my memory; I can still hear the therapist’s words, but my thoughts were clouded by despair. With a toddler and a baby at home, I knew I had to shake off my sadness and focus on the future. So, I made a plan.
The Challenge:
Ethan isn’t talking.
The Strategy:
- Communicate Nonstop: Talk to Ethan constantly, even when he seems uninterested. Use car rides to teach him about the world around us—counting the streetlights and discussing trains, which he loved.
- Research Relentlessly: Arm myself with information so no doctor or therapist could suggest I wasn’t doing enough.
- Take Charge: I realized I was the one in control of Ethan’s journey; the therapists and doctors were just part of the team. I could handle this!
A vivid memory is when a local school district diagnostician suggested that Ethan might have Asperger’s and implied that I didn’t engage with him sufficiently. Her question, “Do you get on the floor and play with him?” stung deeply. I thought I did, but self-doubt crept in like an unwelcome guest. Why was I being blamed?
After her visit, I researched Asperger’s and found that it didn’t fit Ethan at all; he wasn’t speaking much and had created a private language of sorts. As for playing? I felt like I was doing everything wrong, even though that wasn’t the case.
In an attempt to lift my spirits, I went shopping at a local store and bought a pair of blue jeans. These jeans symbolized my commitment to my son and our journey together. I decided to wear them every time I played with Ethan on the floor. They became my “Mommy jeans,” representing my dedication to overcoming his Developmental Language Disorder.
Ethan had challenges with both expressive and receptive language, scoring in the 2nd percentile for his age. But I saw his desire to learn and communicate. We started our daily routine at the train table, playing with Thomas the Train. I modeled conversations, asking and answering questions, and worked on simple requests like asking for water or food.
Instead of feeling overwhelmed by speech goals, I tailored them to Ethan’s interests and frustrations. I informed the speech therapist that our focus for the next month would be on personal exchanges. We practiced modeling requests without putting pressure on him. I knew that by easing his frustrations, he would learn more effectively.
We began with water, progressing to food, toys, and other items he loved. I even incorporated reading, colors, and the alphabet into our play. One of his first recognizable words was “frappuccino,” a reminder of the countless trips to Starbucks that helped me cope during those tough times.
To make our journeys to speech therapy more fun, I counted streetlight poles along the way, and one day, out of nowhere, Ethan joined in. I couldn’t hold back my tears. That moment felt like a long-awaited victory. What once took months to achieve started to shift to weeks.
Six months after buying those jeans, I noticed they were beginning to fade at the knees. Two months later, they ripped. I wore those jeans proudly until Ethan’s next speech evaluation. As the therapist reviewed his progress, I reflected on my own journey and those worn-out knees, which were a testament to our hard work.
I bought another pair of jeans and continued this ritual six more times. Each pair became a trophy, symbolizing the milestones we achieved together. I often encourage other parents navigating Developmental Language Disorder to invest in a new pair of jeans and take the time to play with their kids. While there’s no guarantee of outcomes, the joy of bonding and the adventures along the way are priceless.
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Summary
A new pair of jeans became a symbol of progress for Michelle Parker and her son Ethan as they navigated his developmental language disorder. By engaging in daily play, modeling communication, and customizing goals, they made significant strides in his speech development. Each pair of worn jeans represents milestones achieved together, reminding other parents to cherish their moments with their children.