Can you do self-insemination at home ?
One piece of advice I consistently received during my divorce was, “You’ve got this!” Honestly, that was incredibly frustrating to hear—especially when I felt like I didn’t have it together at all. It’s easy to offer support from the sidelines when you’re not experiencing the same turmoil.
You know the mentality: Put your hair up and get it done. Share the perfect picture that shows how well you’re managing. Stay strong for the kids. Go out and find someone new!
We all understand, deep down, that we will endure tough times. We will eventually come to terms with our new reality. We know that healing takes time, but the hardest part is waiting for that time to ease the pain.
We live in a world that often promotes the idea of just “walking it off.” There are entire self-help books dedicated to simply getting up and washing your face to feel better. This mindset can lead us to suppress our sadness and anxiety, shoving it deeper inside while pretending we’re okay. We lie to ourselves, convincing ourselves that a new outfit or a change of scenery will magically lift our spirits.
For a while, I bought into that notion. I thought if I acted as if everything was fine, my feelings would just wash away. But that’s not how emotions work, and we all know it.
There are days I drive around listening to sad songs, letting the tears flow. There are nights I crawl into bed early because I can’t bear another moment of the day. Sometimes, I leave texts unanswered, skip shaving my legs, and let the laundry pile up while I stare blankly out the window.
I refuse to spend my life pushing through without taking the time to nurture my emotions. When we feel good, we act on it, don’t we? We pamper ourselves, exercise, dance, express our creativity, and declutter our spaces.
But when we’re feeling down, often the only thing on our minds is curling up with a bag of snacks instead of tackling that home project we’ve been wanting to start. Why do we pressure ourselves to switch gears and become that high-energy person when we’re feeling low?
I’ve discovered that embracing those sad girl moments has transformed my life. Want to know why? When I allow myself to feel sad, anxious, or frustrated, I recover much quicker than if I force myself to act like someone I’m not. My energy returns faster, my sleep improves, and I find it easier to forgive myself—and others—when I give myself permission to feel.
Just the other day, I cried all the way to the grocery store. I didn’t have the energy to step out of the car. I had no reason to feel that way; it was just one of those low days. Instead of forcing myself to go inside, I treated myself to my favorite fast food, called my best friend, and chatted for over an hour. After that, I felt ready to tackle my shopping list.
Not long ago, I would have ignored my emotions, walked into the store irritated, and taken out my frustration on my kids when I got home. This time, I chose to acknowledge my feelings and connect with a friend instead of trying to mask them with a smile and a selfie.
I’m not suggesting we always give in to our lack of motivation—sometimes a little fresh air or a touch of mascara can do wonders. But we also know when we’re just too drained to put on a façade.
Let’s start normalizing the idea that hot girl moments are just one part of our lives. Everyone has their sad girl days, even if they try to hide it. Take it from someone who once pushed through her emotions: I’m much happier now that I let myself experience those feelings rather than forcing a smile.
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In summary, embracing our feelings—whether they be sad or anxious—can lead to faster healing and a more authentic life. We shouldn’t shy away from acknowledging our emotions, and by allowing ourselves to experience them, we pave the way for a happier tomorrow.