I have one child born on Halloween, another just after it, and a third five days before Christmas. When they were younger, we found it charming that their birthdays coincided with festive occasions. But now that they are older, we’ve come to a realization: holiday birthdays are not all they’re cracked up to be.
Having a birthday during a holiday means my kids never truly get a day that is just for them. Planning birthday parties becomes a struggle. Everyone is occupied with festivities, whether it’s a Halloween celebration, a Christmas gathering, or visiting family. Consequently, my kids often end up with no party at all or a celebration set way too far from their actual birthday. For instance, we once attempted to hold a half-birthday party for our Christmas child in the summer, and it turned out to be incredibly awkward. We never tried that again.
Even if they do get a party, it often ends up being a combination event. For my child with a Halloween birthday, the celebration is more about Halloween than their actual birthday. The party becomes a mix of spooky decorations and costumes instead of a focus on them. When friends are invited, they’re more interested in celebrating Halloween rather than my child’s special day. This novelty fades quickly, and a desire for a birthday party that stands alone grows.
As for Christmas birthdays, it’s challenging to celebrate in a way that feels special. The atmosphere is dominated by Christmas carols, festive sweaters, and candy canes. Finding a venue is nearly impossible since most places are booked for holiday events. My oldest son has had just one birthday party with friends in nearly a decade—and that’s not for lack of trying. It’s tough to gather a group of kids during the holidays!
The absolute worst aspect of holiday birthdays is the merging of gifts. My poor Halloween baby and near-Halloween child often receive Halloween-themed gifts every year. Yes, they appreciate them, but it’s a fact that presents are a traditional part of birthday celebrations. And don’t get me started on my Christmas child—he gets the worst of it. While other kids enjoy multiple special days, those with holiday birthdays generally end up with one less special occasion to celebrate.
People are busy with holiday preparations, and my kids tend to be overlooked. Even we, as parents, struggle to keep their birthdays at the forefront. Holiday celebrations mean rushed cake purchases and last-minute decorations, which often end up being holiday-themed instead of personal. Our decorations sometimes default to costumes or Christmas ornaments, and gifts often get wrapped in holiday paper. It’s disheartening.
In retrospect, we should have considered the implications of timing our children’s births. I was relieved when my oldest didn’t arrive on Christmas Day, but he was born just days before. Holiday birthdays can be tough on kids and parents alike. If you happen to have a holiday birthday or know someone who does, please consider making an effort. Avoid combining gifts, use non-holiday wrapping paper, and suggest a party that doesn’t revolve around costumes or festive themes. Most importantly, show up to their celebrations so they feel recognized and cherished on their special day.
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In summary, holiday birthdays can be a challenge for kids and parents, often overshadowed by the larger celebrations of the season. It’s important to make an effort to celebrate these special days distinctly.