Thanks for the yearly reminder of my past hypocrisy in parenting.
Not too long ago, Facebook introduced this fascinating feature called “On This Day,” which digs up memories from years gone by—everything from a year ago to when you first signed up. Some memories bring joy—“Look how tiny my little one was!”—but others? They can be downright embarrassing.
Take, for instance, that one time Facebook reminded me of my pre-kids self, who was so quick to judge others. Here’s a gem: “Wow, she seems like a blast. Let’s definitely invite her to our next gathering.” The comments went downhill from there. My former, non-parenting self was adamant about how I would never resort to certain parenting tactics. I mean, who gives their child an iPad during lunch? I’ll tell you: the lazy kind! It’s called quality time, folks!
And so that cringeworthy post sits there, a stark reminder of my harsh judgments and blatant dishonesty. But hey, I can’t be the only one feeling this way, right? Even if your past isn’t etched on Facebook, we’ve all declared we’d never do certain things as parents—only to find ourselves doing exactly that.
Let’s be real
The no-kids know-it-all is often a big fat liar. Here are a few classic promises often made by those without children:
- “My child will never throw tantrums in public!” That sounds great. Just remember, you’ll need a magic bag full of candy, a tent at Disney, and a way to avoid grocery stores, bath time, and all forms of discipline.
- “My child will eat whatever I serve.” Good luck with that diet of chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and juice boxes.
- “I won’t leave the house looking like a zombie.” Let’s see how you feel when you’re covered in spit-up and sleep-deprived; if you can pull off that look, I’ll be impressed.
- “I won’t stop socializing just because I have kids.” Enjoy those late-night outings while you can; when that 6 a.m. wake-up call hits, you’ll be dreaming of Netflix and pajamas.
- “My kids won’t play with noisy, cheap toys—only quality wooden ones!” Sure, but good luck when your little one demands constant attention.
- “I’ll never use tech to keep my kids entertained at restaurants.” Oh, please. When you’re craving a slice of pizza and some peace, that iPad will become your best friend.
- “I won’t arrive late and blame my kids.” Just wait until potty emergencies and wardrobe malfunctions derail your plans.
- “My kids won’t watch TV.” Hahaha! Yeah, right.
- “I’ll stick to my parenting plan, no matter what.” Ouch! That high horse must hurt when you tumble off it. Give yourself a break, put on Frozen, and embrace the chaos.
So, let’s lower those lofty standards, admit our little fabrications, and pour ourselves a generous glass of wine. Red, perhaps? It goes well with crow.
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In Summary
We all make promises before becoming parents that often end up broken. As we navigate the chaos of parenting, it’s important to be kind to ourselves and acknowledge the realities we face.