Hey there, fellow mom observing me from across the store, I notice that look in your eyes, and I can guess what you’re thinking. I’m feeling the pressure as I navigate your gaze, and trust me, I’m a total mess right now. My kids are acting up in public, and it’s like I’ve developed super senses that let me read your mind. You’re likely thinking, “I could handle this better than she is.” And honestly, you’re probably right.
When you see me at the grocery store struggling to manage my kids while declaring, “No, we can’t stop at that aisle, and if you keep asking, I’ll sell all your toys when we get home,” I can totally see you thinking you could do better.
At church, when my kids are fidgeting and making a ruckus, and I’ve exhausted all my whisper-yelling tactics, I know you’re silently judging. When my teenager rolls her eyes at me in the mall while I just walk away, I can sense your thoughts of how you’d handle it differently. And when my son has a meltdown in the toy aisle over Legos and I still buy him what he wants, you’re probably thinking you would have taken a firmer stance.
You could undoubtedly do better for countless reasons. Maybe you’ve had more than a few uninterrupted minutes to yourself this week. Perhaps you slept well last night, or your kids are older, giving you a wealth of experience and perspective. You might even have a knack for remaining calm while your child gives you attitude.
But let’s be real: none of these reasons equate to loving my kids any less than you love yours. In fact, we might not even know each other’s names, and you likely don’t know my children’s names either. So it’s fair to say that I love them fiercely, possibly more than you do. Each of us is fighting our own battles, and while you may think, “I’d never do that” or “I would handle this differently,” it’s my fight to face.
In moments of chaos, parents need grace, just as kids do, whether we’re at the grocery store or at a family gathering. Every experience reminds me that I’m still learning the ropes of parenting and that I might never feel like an expert. Much of my education happens in public, with an audience watching my every move.
The upside is that if you can learn from my blunders, I’m happy to provide those lessons at no charge. Please remember, though, that there are things you might not see. The child who can’t sit still at church could be grieving a recent loss. The teenager with me might be navigating feelings of exclusion from a recent sleepover. The little one who’s struggling to communicate may be frustrated by their speech challenges, and I might be running on just a few hours of sleep this week.
So, if you find yourself thinking you could do a better job in those chaotic moments, you’re likely correct. I may not always be at my best, but I truly believe I’m doing my utmost for my kids, and I trust you are doing the same. Next time we witness a mother pushing a tantruming child through the aisles, let’s extend a bit of trust her way. She has her reasons, and we can carry on with our day without worrying about her children’s futures.
And if by chance I see your child acting out in public while the other is causing a scene over something trivial, I’ll smile and reassure you that you are doing great. I’ll understand that your child might just be having a tough day, and the sassiness probably came from somewhere other than you. Together, we can navigate this parenting journey, supporting one another with kindness and grace — there’s more than enough to go around.
In summary, we’re all navigating the challenging waters of parenting, often under the watchful eyes of others. It’s essential to remember that every child’s behavior has a backstory, and we’re all doing the best we can. Let’s support each other in this journey instead of passing judgment.