In a thought-provoking piece, writer Jamie Brooks reflects on an experience where she was invited to a podcast aimed at helping straight white men become better allies. The podcast, hosted by some of her male friends, tackles the challenges faced by those who don’t enjoy the same societal privileges. During her conversation, Brooks was struck by a single, powerful question that had haunted her since the infamous “grab them by the…” comment surfaced:
Do you ever defend me?
At first glance, this question appears straightforward, but its implications run deep, especially in light of the events of 2016. While some men dismiss claims of sexism as mere oversensitivity, the reality is that the election of a certain individual has sparked a genuine onslaught against women. The term “war” feels appropriate because it encapsulates the ongoing struggle for equality. Many cisgender heterosexual white men often perceive their way of life as under threat simply because women demand to be treated as equals.
In this climate, men may claim to be allies, but the real question is whether they genuinely act on that belief. Are they standing up for women when it’s inconvenient, or only when it benefits them? As a woman of color, I often find myself in spaces where I’m the only female voice, and I understand the pressure to conform. In the past, I’ve laughed at jokes that I found distasteful just to fit in. But I refuse to do that anymore.
To the men reading this: speaking out isn’t as difficult as it seems. It’s essential and the right thing to do. If you’re worried about losing your place in a misogynistic environment, you need to reevaluate your values. You can’t profess to support women and then remain silent or complicit in the face of sexism. Women deserve respect, regardless of their relationship to you. It’s frustrating when high-profile men only acknowledge sexism when it affects their daughters or wives, as if that is the only metric for worth. Women are human beings in their own right, not merely extensions of men.
Think about your actions: do you create space for women when they’re not around? Are you ready to be uncomfortable and confront sexism, even if it means being mocked? If the answer is no, then you might need to reconsider your self-identification as an ally.
As a mother to a young boy, I’m committed to teaching him the importance of advocating for women’s rights. It’s not just about feeling “woke”; it’s about calling out sexism and racism whenever you encounter it, whether it’s at work or among friends. For more information on navigating these discussions, check out this excellent resource on Genetics and IVF Institute.
Women are people, and it’s time for men to step up. Even when it feels uncomfortable — especially then.
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In conclusion, it’s crucial for men to actively champion equality and stand against sexism, even if it means challenging the status quo.