I recently heard a new father share his experiences with his newborn, and it was heartwarming to see how enamored he was with his little one. However, his excitement quickly turned into frustration when I inquired about sleep. His main grievance was the loud noises his baby made while feeding, which kept him awake at night. Yet, he wasn’t the one feeding her—his partner was breastfeeding, while he buried himself under his pillow. “Let’s address this right now,” I told him. He looked at me with a mix of curiosity and hope, as if I held the key to a peaceful night’s sleep. “You need to step up and support your partner at night.” That wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear.
Having been in a similar situation, I understand the feeling of helplessness when it comes to nighttime feedings. It’s tempting to roll over and ignore the chaos, but I recognized that this mindset was unfair. Being a parent means being involved, even during the night, and your responsibilities don’t vanish just because you’re tired.
One common argument I hear from dads who work outside the home is the belief that they deserve more sleep than their partners who stay at home. That kind of thinking needs to change. Sleep is essential for everyone and should not be dictated by outdated notions of gender roles. Being the primary breadwinner is no more significant than being the primary caregiver; both roles are interconnected.
As someone who has experienced both sides—staying home with kids and working outside the home—I can say that being a stay-at-home parent can be far more exhausting. If your partner is handling the bulk of nighttime duties, it’s crucial to step up, apologize, and make changes before burnout sets in. And let’s be clear: if you’re complaining about your child being a noisy eater, that’s on you—your partner is the one doing the hard work.
Moreover, not all moms want or can stay home full-time. If both parents are working full-time jobs, why is it still expected that Mom handles nighttime wake-ups? It’s time for dads to reevaluate and take on their fair share of responsibilities.
In my experience, there were nights when my partner assumed she could handle it all alone. With our first child, nighttime feedings were manageable, so she often took the lead. But we had an agreement that I was always available to help. I would change diapers, soothe the baby, and even fetch a glass of water. As we adjusted to having more children, we made it a point to divide the nighttime responsibilities, ensuring a fair rotation.
We also established a rule that anything said between midnight and 6:00 AM didn’t count as punishable comments, which helped ease tensions during those long nights. Despite our efforts to share the load, my partner still ended up getting less sleep, but she appreciated my support.
When it comes to bedtime routines, we alternated responsibilities, making sure both parents were actively involved. This division of labor is essential, especially in traditional relationships. If dads continue to sleep soundly while moms are left to handle everything, it creates a frustrating dynamic that can lead to resentment and stress for both partners.
Nighttime parenting isn’t solely a mom’s job. Dads need to step up to the plate—whether it’s handling feedings, comforting kids after nightmares, or even doing laundry when the kids are sick. If you’re already doing this, kudos to you for breaking the cycle of entitlement. If not, now is the time to rise to the occasion because your partner deserves so much more.
For additional insights on becoming a supportive parent, check out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination and consider exploring this post on kale crisps for some fun cooking ideas.
In conclusion, the journey of parenthood requires teamwork, especially during those sleepless nights. Dads, it’s time to be more proactive and engaged in the nightly routines of your children. Your partner will thank you, and you’ll create a healthier family dynamic.
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