My husband is preparing for his first deployment soon. As a military family, we’ve navigated separations before—eight months here, four months there, and a few weeks in between. Fortunately, his role has kept him stateside until now. This time, however, he’s not heading off for training or a brief mission; he’s boarding a plane for a nine-month deployment, and the reality of that is hitting hard.
He’ll be putting on his boots, packing his gear, and getting up at dawn to catch a flight that will take him far away, to a location where our schedules will hardly align. Although his job isn’t combat-related and is considered relatively safe, I’m aware of how fortunate I am to not have to worry about his safety in the same way many military spouses do. I’m not naive enough to think that what I’m feeling is the same as what others endure, but I am still allowed to feel sad.
I’ll miss him more than I can express, and the thought of managing parenting and everything else alone for months is daunting. We’ve tackled this before, and I’ve managed because that’s just what we do as moms.
Logistically, I know I can handle our home and kids. In fact, things tend to run smoother without him here. I simplify meals, which means fewer dishes, and the laundry is easier since his uniforms won’t pile up. We find our rhythm without Dad, and my kids adapt well. I’m resourceful, and we make it work.
Yet, there are logistical challenges that bring their own stress. Managing lawn care, pest control, and general home maintenance are not my strong suits. I can do it, but it adds to my already full plate, and I worry about forgetting important tasks.
The toughest part of deployment is the emotional toll it takes on all of us. I live with anxiety, and my husband is my anchor. He provides a sense of safety that I can’t replicate alone. During his absence, I’ll have to rely on my other coping skills, which are not as effective. I know I’ll get through it, but it will be harder without him.
I’ll strive to make special occasions feel festive even without him, but I know my kids will feel the absence. Their dad is the type who never misses a moment, and while missing a holiday isn’t the end of the world, they’re still young and may not grasp the nuances of deployment. I won’t downplay their feelings; they’re entitled to miss their father.
It pains me to think of my husband missing family moments, especially since one of our kids is at an age where this gap will feel significant. He’ll leave a baby and return to a child, and I can sense his anxiety about this.
I understand that my temporary separation doesn’t compare to the fear felt by those with spouses in combat or those who have lost their partners. But it’s essential to express how this deployment feels, as a reminder to be kind to those around us.
Our family will continue to thrive, even in his absence. We’ll manage, but we’ll also operate with an ongoing sense of anxiety until he returns and our life feels complete again. We won’t need the same support as families facing a permanent loss, but we will appreciate understanding and a little grace during this time.
As a reminder, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Like all military spouses, I will do what I must during my husband’s deployment, and I hope others show kindness to us along the way.
For more insights on the emotional aspects of deployment, check out this blog post. Additionally, Intracervical Insemination provides valuable information on related topics, and for further support, consider this resource on female infertility.
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Summary:
As my husband prepares for a nine-month deployment, I navigate the emotional challenges and logistical concerns that come with it. While I am proud of his service and understand the necessity of his role, the impending separation weighs heavily on me and our kids. Although we will find ways to cope and maintain our family dynamics, the emotional toll is significant as we face this journey without him for an extended period.