If only mothers could openly discuss these issues, we’d all be better equipped.
by Jamie Thompson
May 26, 2022
I tiptoe into the bathroom, hoping to avoid the inevitable interruptions from my two younger kids. These moments have to be solitary missions. Let’s be honest: using the toilet is far from glamorous. Society teaches us from a young age that this natural bodily function should remain unspoken. Yet here I am, perched on the throne after bringing four beautiful children into the world over eight years, and the truth is — it’s rough.
Get ready for some real talk. With my pelvic floor muscles weakened and stretched, I can’t push things out the way I used to. I had to invest in a peculiar device from an online retailer called a Femmeze, which is akin to a shoehorn for women’s anatomy, but it was a total bust. So now, I’m left to use my thumb. Yes, you read that right. I have to assist myself (from the front) to reposition my rectum, which has been stretched into my vagina, before I can finally release my bowels. This technique is known as splinting, and it’s a reality many mothers face — yet it’s rarely discussed.
There are so many natural yet uncomfortable aspects of motherhood that remain unspoken. Mucus plugs, sore nipples, engorged veins, and in this instance, pelvic prolapse — specifically rectocele. When my OB first mentioned this term, I nearly recoiled. The solution, she said, is surgery, but the recovery could be brutal, and the success rate isn’t as promising as one would hope. So here I am, managing on my own.
And naturally, no one around me has a clue. I throw on my jeans, fix my hair (well, sort of), and take my kids to the park. People see me and think, “Look at that adorable mom with her four kids.” Little do they know, I want to shout: “Do you realize my insides feel like they’re collapsing and I have to assist myself when I go to the bathroom?!” Because sometimes, the facade we maintain as women — especially as mothers — feels overwhelmingly stifling.
These issues deserve more attention. If we spoke about them, we’d all be more prepared. It wasn’t until I began exercising after my fourth vaginal birth that I realized something was amiss. Every step felt like my uterus would hit the pavement. The pressure was intense, and I even experienced incontinence during certain workouts. A quick Google search led me to a diagnosis from my OB that confirmed my fears.
So here I am, continuing my self-assisted bathroom routines, modifying my workouts to be less impactful, and attempting pelvic floor exercises while scrolling through Instagram. I was told that my body would regain its firmness once I stopped breastfeeding, citing elasticity and hormones — but I’ve since debunked that myth. This is my new reality. A grateful, full-hearted, yet slightly more self-conscious version of myself. I’m determined to educate my daughters about these strange facets of motherhood, warning them that Amazon won’t provide the answers they need and stressing the importance of a secure bathroom door. Above all, I will remind them that while this journey is tough, they can handle it.
If you’re interested in learning more about the realities of motherhood, check out this related blog post. It’s essential to stay informed, and for additional knowledge, visit this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
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Summary: Navigating the physical changes after childbirth, especially following multiple pregnancies, can be a challenging and often uncomfortable experience for mothers. Many women face issues like pelvic prolapse without discussing them openly. It’s crucial to break the silence surrounding these topics, as sharing experiences can help others feel more prepared for the realities of motherhood.