Remote learning or in-person learning? Suddenly, NYC changed its policy: whatever choice you made, it was locked in for the rest of the school year—no take-backs. The dilemma was compounded by the choice of whether to remain at my in-law’s place in the countryside or return to the bustling city.
Let’s just say that Liam’s Dad and I had some serious disagreements on this topic. His anxiety about exposing our child and family to COVID was through the roof. With the second wave hitting, his nerves were frayed.
On the other hand, I was deeply worried about our child’s social isolation and the emotional impact it could have. Plus, I felt a strong pull of homesickness.
I had come across numerous articles with reassuring statistics indicating that schools weren’t major contributors to COVID transmission, which helped to calm my worries. Many friends in the city were attending in-person classes safely and were quite happy about it.
However, to be fair, Liam had some truly amazing remote learning teachers for first grade, or “village,” as they liked to call themselves. They were incredibly engaged, bringing unmatched energy and humor to their classrooms.
At first, Liam was so shy that he wouldn’t even turn on his camera. After a few days, though, he couldn’t stop unmuting himself. The thought of uprooting him from this new routine made me feel guilty. Remote learning had provided him with a sense of normalcy, and for the moment, it was working.
Over the past few months, Liam’s public school had to close multiple times due to rising COVID cases. Some parents found the inconsistent schedule disruptive, while others were just grateful for any in-person learning they could get. Nearby schools remained open due to lower COVID numbers.
“It’s not like Liam will be missing out on starring in a full-blown production of The Pirates of Penzance!” his Dad argued.
I couldn’t help but picture an empty assembly hall, where the school bell echoed through the silence. It saddened me to think Liam might miss his first-grade play.
“Yes, but at least he could play outside with his friends, even with masks! He doesn’t know a single kid here,” I countered.
“But it’s getting so cold. How long will he be able to do that?” he replied.
“It’s not like he’ll be sharing lunch with his friends in the cafeteria,” his Dad added.
“But at least he’ll be close enough to share funny jokes with them,” I insisted.
“And what about the fact that neither of us has the patience to navigate remote learning?” he countered.
It was challenging to find common ground on our child’s education. This dilemma—a choice between remote and in-person learning—was putting a strain on countless families and friends. The online world was flooded with lists of pros and cons for each option.
Parents were judging one another, which only added to the pressure of making a decision. Yes, remote learning was overwhelming for many families. Yes, schools were constantly opening and closing as COVID cases fluctuated. Yes, numerous families relied on schools to remain open. Yes, many teachers felt they shouldn’t have to risk their health to educate our children, especially when they had kids of their own. Yes, there was increasing data showing that schools did not significantly contribute to COVID spread. Yes, studies highlighted the negative effects of social isolation. Yes, many families still feared the uncertainties ahead.
We went back and forth, week after week, sharing our conflicting emotions with our therapist. We aimed to validate each other’s feelings and anxieties, trying not to dominate the conversation or have to be right. More often than not, we failed. But week after week, we made an effort. We confronted our stubbornness and had some emotional breakdowns.
No family makes perfect choices, and not every family agrees on what’s best for their child. Ultimately, we decided to stick with fully remote learning and remain at my in-law’s place. We also agreed to set up more social-distanced playdates, so Liam could interact with other kids. This meant I had to join local Mommy Facebook groups to arrange playdates, which I am very grateful for.
When I see other parents making their decisions, I remind myself that we’re all doing the best we can. For more insights on parenting and education, you can check out this helpful article that explores similar themes.
Summary:
This comic explores the challenging decision many parents face regarding remote versus in-person learning, especially during the COVID pandemic. Jessica and her partner, Liam’s Dad, struggle with anxiety, social isolation, and the impact of their choices on their child. Ultimately, they opt for continued remote learning while seeking ways to ensure their child remains socially connected.
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