I’m a mother to three wonderful kids. Three amazing kids. Three delightful, challenging, and occasionally exhausting kids who can drain my energy yet fill my heart with joy. This was the life I envisioned as a child, imagining myself in my 30s—fit, stylish, and effortlessly balancing a thriving career and motherhood, with my three adorable children by my side, perhaps enjoying the beauty of a beach sunset.
Reality check: I have the kids, but the rest of the picture? Not quite what I had in mind. Convincing my partner to welcome a third child wasn’t a walk in the park, but I was determined. I pulled out the “What if we finally have a boy?” card after already having two daughters. Though he was perfectly content with our girls, I persisted, and eventually, he gave in with no regrets about our now toddler son (who, by the way, is a breeze compared to the others). At that moment, I would have been just as happy with another girl; I simply felt that I was meant to have that third child.
So here I am—a complete family, my dreams of motherhood fulfilled. Or so I thought. Life is never straightforward, especially when hormones and biological clocks come into play. Let’s face it; we’re all just animals at our core.
After my son’s birth, which was somewhat complicated due to high blood pressure and liver issues but ended with a smooth induction, I was left utterly in love with my little boy. Yet, on the ride home from the hospital, my husband asked a seemingly innocent question: “So, how was your last pregnancy?” That’s when the floodgates opened. I was caught off guard, tears brimming in my tired eyes as I processed the weight of “last pregnancy.”
How could he be so thoughtless? To be fair, he was simply being honest. He was satisfied with our family size and assumed I felt the same, especially after enduring nine months of pregnancy woes. Perhaps my frequent declarations of “I’m never doing this again!” had slipped his mind.
Logically, I should have felt content. Yet, logic has no power over postpartum hormones, nor does it silence the incessant ticking of my biological clock, which seems to shout, “Hurry! There’s still time for another!” Those hormones are indifferent to my plans of being done having kids.
Once I turned 35, my ovaries developed a mind of their own—an incredibly demanding and insistent mind. They’ve become a source of constant conflict. You see, my ovaries are convinced I still want another baby. Is this a common experience? If you’ve felt this too, I invite you to join me in this rant.
Monthly Conversations with My Ovaries
Let’s delve into the monthly back-and-forth with my ovaries. Around day 12 of my cycle, the subliminal messages start creeping in. I find myself daydreaming in a rather provocative manner—my libido is at its peak, and my husband is more than happy to oblige. However, I can’t help but wonder where this sudden desire is coming from.
Me: “Ovaries, you’re trying to fool me again, aren’t you? You want me to get pregnant.”
Ovaries: “Hey, we’ve got a prime egg this month. You don’t want to let this opportunity slip by.”
Me: “Thanks for the surge in libido, but I have to decline. My partner isn’t on board with another baby. Even if I hypothetically wanted one, we’re done.”
Ovaries: “But what if he changes his mind? You know deep down you want this egg.”
Me: “It’s not just about me. Sure, part of me might want to fertilize that egg, but I’m exhausted. I have aspirations to chase now.”
Ovaries: “This is the one with the sleep gene! You can do this! Don’t let this chance die.”
Me: “I can’t afford another child! I don’t believe you about the sleep gene; my last eight years have been a blur of sleep deprivation. I need to focus on self-improvement, so I can be the best version of myself for my kids.”
Ovaries: “You’re making a compelling case, but you know you want this egg. Just find a way to get that sperm in here. Here, have some more enticing thoughts to help you along.”
Me: “Those thoughts are tempting, but I’m not swayed. It’s just not meant to be. Can I keep the sex drive, though?”
Ovaries: “Sure, keep it. But mark my words, we’ll make you regret this decision every month until menopause. Prepare for monthly reminders about every pregnancy announcement you hear.”
Me: “Enough! He’s getting a vasectomy. There will be no more babies!”
And there you have it—my hormones are driving me to the brink. If you’ve found a way to silence your ovaries and manage the ticking biological clock, I’d love to hear your advice. For now, I’m heading to the gym.
For more insights on family planning, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy options at Resolve. Plus, if you’re interested in exploring home insemination, consider visiting our post about the Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit. And for fun baby shower ideas, look at these exciting games.
In summary, navigating the desires of my ovaries is a monthly struggle, especially as I balance my aspirations and the reality of motherhood. While my body may be sending signals for another child, my mind is committed to self-improvement and enjoying the family I already have.