As I entered the locker room from the pool at my local fitness center, I prepared myself for the usual sights one encounters—mostly a lot of nudity, particularly from women over forty who seem to have zero qualms about baring it all. However, nothing could have prepared me for the shocking scene I witnessed that day.
There was a woman, completely unclothed, propped up on a bench, applying lotion directly into her rear end. Yes, you read that right. While I wholeheartedly support a good skincare routine, I must emphasize that such actions should remain private. Unfortunately, my locker was situated right next to hers. I attempted to look away, but the sight was inescapable. To my utter dismay, she happily engaged me in conversation, all while using the same hand that was now coated with lotion to enter the combination to her locker. That moment was the final straw—locker number 53 was officially out of commission.
To my fellow gym-goers, I implore you to curb the gross and inconsiderate behavior in our shared workout environments. It’s vital we all acknowledge that we are navigating this fitness journey together, and maintaining a level of courtesy is crucial, especially regarding equipment like barbells and rowing machines.
Understanding Gym Offenders
We all know the offenders: those who believe gym etiquette doesn’t apply to them, or who think their sweat is somehow exempt from scrutiny. But, listen up, I’m calling out your disrespectful actions. Yes, you must clean your machine after use. Why is that so hard to grasp? You’ve just spent a good half hour sweating it out, likely wiping your face with your hands before adjusting the settings. That sweat is now all over the equipment, and I would appreciate it if you could tidy up after yourself. I’m happy to share, but I won’t be bringing your germs home with me, thank you very much.
Respecting Shared Spaces
And to the treadmill hogs out there, I don’t care if you’re training for a marathon. I spent an eternity wrangling my child into his winter gear, and I really don’t have time to wait for you to complete your lengthy run. So, kindly step aside. Also, just because you’ve staked your claim on a particular spin bike doesn’t mean you own it, Chad. We all pay the same membership fees, so if I want to use bike #7, I will.
Walking barefoot in the locker room? Please stop that. Feet are already pretty unappealing, and post-exercise they’re even worse. Just buy a cheap pair of flip-flops and spare the rest of us the horror.
Silence is Golden
While in the sauna, I prefer silence over small talk. I’m just trying to enjoy the heat, not engage in friendly chit-chat while wrapped in a towel. And when I’m on the treadmill, I’m not interested in discussing the latest gossip. I came to work out, not socialize.
Show-offs and Public Decency
And let’s address the show-offs in the gym. Yes, we all noticed when you dramatically dropped that heavy weight after grunting like you were in labor. No one is impressed.
Furthermore, blow-drying your pubic hair in public is simply unacceptable. I can’t believe I even have to mention this, but witnessing someone doing this in the locker room is mortifying. We all prefer to avoid damp situations, but please, just don’t.
Respecting the Pool
And for the older patrons, you do not monopolize the swimming lanes. While I appreciate your adorable vintage swim cap and skirted suit, I kindly ask you to conduct your water aerobics routine in the free swim area. Respecting elders is important, but so is getting my swim done without obstruction.
Conclusion
Gym etiquette is not complicated. It takes minimal effort to wipe down machines after use or to wear flip-flops in the locker room. The struggle to find time for exercise is hard enough without navigating the antics of those who think they can blast music without headphones.
And for everyone’s sake, leave the lotion application for home.
In summary, maintaining a respectful and hygienic environment at the gym is essential for everyone’s comfort. We all share these spaces, and a little courtesy goes a long way in making the experience enjoyable for all.