Receiving praise from my father was a rare occurrence. An outspoken New Englander with a sharp tongue, he spoke his mind without hesitation. While I always sensed his pride in me, he only expressed it during my most significant achievements. Despite his sparse compliments, I strived daily to earn his approval, often feeling discouraged.
When my daughter arrived, weighing just 5 pounds, I was determined to empower her to feel strong and confident without seeking validation. I aimed for her to possess a natural sense of independence, growing up in an environment where we celebrated her abilities and talents. It wasn’t about showering her with empty compliments regarding her looks; I wanted her to understand from the very first moment I held her that she was a formidable force, destined to leave her mark on the world.
I made sure her father understood this vision, recognizing that I couldn’t do it alone. Just like savoring a drink differs from preparing one, I knew my approach to parenting would provide a unique perspective that complemented his. While I could teach her to challenge societal norms and advocate for herself professionally, I believed she also needed a father who would exemplify strength and capability. I wanted her to be treated with unwavering respect and kindness by the man she would call Dad, and for him to offer compliments without her needing to ask.
My husband has embraced this role beautifully, and it deepens my love for him each day as I witness him helping her discover her inner strength.
Now, as she blossoms into a thoughtful 11-year-old, I realize more than ever the importance of her hearing that she is powerful. In today’s challenging political landscape, I take pride in knowing she is surrounded by women who raise their voices for equality, ensuring she has the right to make choices concerning her own body and receive fair compensation for her work. She is supported by a community of strong women, both in her life and globally. That alone is incredible.
But she also has men in her life who actively demonstrate their support for the strong women around them. More of these men are needed to uplift our girls.
We need men who show up at basketball games, exhausted from their workdays, to coach our daughters on the court, teaching them about teamwork and resilience. We need men who attend family gatherings and light up at the sight of their nieces, taking a moment to engage with them by asking about their schoolwork and genuinely listening.
We need male educators who inspire our girls in classrooms, who believe in their potential in subjects like math and science, and who recognize that girls can excel in complex equations and experiments.
We need men in healthcare who advocate for women’s rights and provide the essential medical care every girl deserves.
Recently, a man in a crowded restaurant stood up for my daughter. When he overheard her being belittled by her grandmother—told she wasn’t strong enough to pursue her dreams—he walked across the room and addressed the situation directly. He told her she could achieve anything she set her mind to and encouraged her to hold her head high. When my daughter shared the story with me, she looked at me, wide-eyed, and said, “He doesn’t even know me! Yet he believes in me.”
This man reminded those around her that undermining a girl’s strength only perpetuates the patriarchy, and that discouragement will hinder her from breaking the glass ceiling. Then he returned to his meal, as if it were a normal occurrence.
This man embodies the kind of presence I want in my daughter’s life. I may never know his name or his profession, but I’m grateful for the impact he had on my daughter. Because I wasn’t present when he defended her, I won’t have the opportunity to thank him face-to-face. I don’t know what motivated his actions, and I’ll never learn if he has a daughter of his own. But I do know that he has made my role as a parent easier, and for that, I will always be thankful. My daughter will carry that memory with her. If our paths cross again, I’ll gladly treat him to a meal; it’s the least I can do.
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Summary:
This article expresses appreciation for supportive men who uplift girls and women, emphasizing the importance of positive male role models in a girl’s life. It highlights the writer’s commitment to raising her daughter with confidence and strength, supported by both men and women who advocate for her empowerment.