Recently, I was at the playground with my son when I overheard a mother advising her young son to “treat girls like flowers.” Her intention was to encourage gentleness, but the phrasing struck me as outdated and frustrating. I didn’t speak up then, but I’ve reflected on it since and realized how important it is to shift this kind of messaging. Girls—and the women they grow into—are not delicate blooms; they are robust trees.
Trees are powerful. They have deep roots, provide shelter, and contribute to the ecosystem in ways that flowers simply cannot. They endure harsh weather, stand tall, and thrive over time. This is the strength and resilience I want my son to recognize in girls, fostering a sense of equality rather than placing them on a pedestal. I aim to teach him that respect comes from viewing girls as equals, not fragile beings.
My son often chooses to play with girls, and I remind him of the same values I teach when he plays with boys: maintain boundaries, respect personal space, and always express gratitude. The girls he plays with are fierce, assertive, and unapologetically themselves. They stand their ground, and I admire their strength. When my son finds himself challenged by a girl asserting her boundaries, it’s a moment for growth. I want him to understand that she deserves just as much space and respect as he does.
Take, for instance, my friend’s daughter, who is nearly two. She is the only girl in our group and holds her own with confidence, making it clear that she wants to be part of the action. We remind the boys to be gentle with her only because she’s younger, but she’s more than capable of handling herself. If my son or her brother try to hug her when she’s not in the mood, she simply pushes them away, asserting her independence. This little girl embodies the spirit of a tree—strong, self-assured, and full of life.
As parents, we must nurture this confidence in girls, allowing them to grow like sturdy saplings with deep roots that give them the strength to flourish. Instilling this sense of power will help them become sources of support for others, just as trees provide shelter and oxygen. When we empower girls, we allow them to thrive in their own right, ensuring their strength endures.
Girls are not delicate flowers; they are magnificent trees.
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In summary, it’s crucial to change the narrative around how we perceive and teach our children about girls. They are not fragile; they are resilient, strong, and deserving of respect and equality.