A massive rescue spider is sending shockwaves through the internet. Regardless of how chaotic this election season may become, it’s clear that few Americans are eager to move all the way to Australia—home to the most bizarre and terrifying creatures on the planet, including spiders that can rival the size of a small dog. Once again, this land of perpetual nightmares has cemented its reputation as a realm of horrors with the emergence of yet another colossal spider.
Time to activate the fetal position. And maybe grab a Xanax.
About a year ago, a group named Barnyard Betty’s Rescue in the Brisbane Valley, Queensland, saved an enormous spider from someone who intended to end its life (because of course). This oversized arachnid has found a new home among other rescued animals on the farm. Recently, a photo of this creature resurfaced and has gone viral, reminding us that the world can be a terrifying place. Meet Charlotte, a Huntsman spider—a creature that triggers sheer panic with its eight long legs.
Is “Huntsman” Australian slang for “no, thank you”? Seriously, it’s horrifying. Your gut reaction is probably something along the lines of “NOPE” or “why does something like this even exist?” While the universe offers no comforting answers to our burning questions, Barnyard Betty’s attempts to put a positive spin on Charlotte’s existence.
“She was a beautiful, calm spider, not aggressive at all. Like most spiders, she just wants to do her thing—eat bugs and live peacefully. There’s no need to harm her! Poor spiders are just misunderstood!” they say.
While they portray Charlotte as harmless, we all remember last month’s viral clip of a Huntsman spider dragging a dead mouse. A spider. Carrying an entire mouse. What part of that screams “harmless”?
Our research into these eight-legged creatures revealed that they not only hunt their prey but can also sprint at a speed of nearly a yard per second—far too fast for our comfort. They can grow to the size of a dinner plate, and judging by her appearance, Charlotte is likely much larger than average. Most Huntsman spiders measure around five inches, but Charlotte appears to be at least double that.
Please, hold me.
To justify why Charlotte deserved a loving home, our research also indicated that Huntsman spiders primarily feast on insects and carry around dead mice for sport. So while her appearance might haunt our dreams, at least she won’t take our lives in our sleep. She might, however, crawl over our faces while hunting bugs during the night.
Alright, I’m slowly putting down the blow torch. We can let her live. As Barnyard Betty’s states, “All creatures great and small are welcome here at Barnyard Betty’s Rescue—a safe haven, no matter how you look!” As long as she stays on the farm (or in Australia), Charlotte is fine by us. But perhaps keep some gasoline and matches at the ready, just in case.
For more insights into fertility and the complexities of home insemination, check out our blog on couples’ fertility journeys. If you’re also interested in cribs that last through countless washes, this resource is worth a look. For in-depth information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Science Daily, an excellent resource.
In summary, a gigantic Huntsman spider named Charlotte has gone viral after being rescued from a would-be extermination. While her appearance may cause alarm, she’s been deemed calm and non-aggressive by her rescuers. Nonetheless, the mere sight of her is enough to trigger a primal fear in many, particularly considering the unsettling facts about her species.