Today, I found myself feeling a bit down. So, in a moment of whimsy, I decided to pull my wedding dress out of storage and slip it on while preparing dinner.
It barely fit me anymore—four pregnancies had transformed my body in ways that would have shocked the naïve 24-year-old bride I once was. The remnants of that fateful Valentine’s Day in 2004 were evident; the dress bore wine stains and was missing buttons. Yet, wearing it made me feel beautiful in a way that my usual get-up of yoga pants simply couldn’t match.
More importantly, it prompted reflections on that younger version of me, who walked down the longest church aisle, buoyed by naïveté and a few too many glasses of champagne. What would she think of my life now? Would she be proud or perhaps a bit embarrassed by how unprepared she was for the tumultuous journey ahead?
What wisdom would I impart to that blissfully unaware bride? Quite simply, this:
You have no clue.
Walking down the aisle is just the beginning. That night, you’ll celebrate with food, drinks, and dancing until your mother gently reminds you, “Dear, remember your grandmother is here.” The next day, you’ll wake up with a headache and a new wedding band, packing for a trip to Key West where you’ll daydream about perfect children and career achievements. Your future together will seem like an open book, but it will also be a massive pivot point in your life.
Soon, you’ll return home and dive into the chaos of parenting, where life stretches out like an endless cycle of sleepless nights and diaper changes. The confidence that carried you down the aisle will be replaced by the anxiety of new motherhood, and your marriage will face its own set of challenges.
But here’s the truth: you will make it through. You’ll learn to love your children so fiercely that it reignites your love for your husband. Together, you’ll build a life in a creaky old house filled with throw pillows, a place that feels like home in every sense. You will find yourselves sleeping in a king-sized bed with the kids nestled between you, yet still managing to touch.
However, be prepared to break—you will, often. Raising a family is like walking around with open wounds, exposing you to new vulnerabilities. You’ll pray for protection, and at times, that protection will feel distant. You’ll hit rock bottom, but against all odds, you will rise again.
You’ll juggle diapers, laundry, and meals, and when you ask your therapist about the meaning behind it all, he’ll offer, “The Buddha would say: chop wood, carry water. For you, it’s probably change diapers, make mac and cheese.” That night, in the stillness after everyone else has gone to bed, you’ll laugh because you finally understand.
Years later, if you’re fortunate, you’ll find yourself in the kitchen again, wearing that old wedding dress. Your steadfast husband, the anchor amidst the chaos, will taste your mac and cheese and exclaim, “Honey, this is incredible!” Even if you know it’s from a box and comes with its familiar orange powder, you’ll accept the compliment graciously, because that’s what love looks like.
“Thanks, babe. It must be the dress.”
“Oh, is that a dress you’re wearing?” he’ll reply. “I didn’t even notice.”
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Summary:
This reflective piece traces the evolution of a young bride into a seasoned mother, all while donning her wedding dress to make dinner. Through the lens of nostalgia, the author contemplates the challenges of marriage and motherhood, highlighting the beauty and chaos of family life. With humor and honesty, she shares the wisdom gained through experience and the enduring love that binds her family together.