Imagine this: Your child is eager to join friends outside, but first, you’ve asked them to tackle their regular chore — washing the dishes. They comply, but in their haste, food residue remains on several items they supposedly cleaned. You have two choices: you can either finish the task yourself in frustration or call them back to the sink and say, “This simply isn’t acceptable.” The latter is the approach I take at home, which sometimes earns me the title of Meanest Mom Ever.
This stems from one of my core beliefs: I don’t let my children half-heartedly complete anything. Be it a poorly scrubbed toilet or a hastily written paragraph for a school assignment, if it’s not up to par, it gets a swift thumbs-down from me. I won’t consider it acceptable until it meets the standard I know they can achieve. Yes, I could easily step in to fix their work when it comes to chores, but why should I? All that does is teach them that their effort doesn’t matter, and that someone will always be there to pick up the slack when they choose to rush or be lazy. I refuse to enable them to get by on minimal effort.
Now, I’m not referring to situations where they’re trying something for the first time; I make allowances for inexperience and the inevitable mistakes that come with it. However, when they are aware of the expectations and capable of meeting them, there’s no reason their work shouldn’t reflect that. If it doesn’t — if they’ve slacked off or taken shortcuts — then guess what? They get to redo it, but this time, correctly.
This can be challenging since kids often lack motivation regarding chores and homework. They frequently test their limits. More often than not, they’re upset when I insist they redo something. This leads to a lot of whining and sulking, which is no fun for any parent. I could easily save myself the hassle by accepting their subpar work as it is, but as I grit my teeth and hold my ground, I remind myself that this is for their benefit. If I don’t teach them to strive for more, then they won’t. Why would they work harder if they’re not expected to?
In the future, they will encounter people who demand their best — whether it’s a college professor, a boss, or a drill sergeant. If they’re used to coasting through life, they will face a rude awakening. By not requiring their best effort now, I’m sending the message that it’s acceptable to underperform and deliver the bare minimum. This mindset won’t serve them well and could hinder their potential. As their parent, I want the best for them, and nobody respects someone who consistently turns in subpar work and expects others to compensate for their shortcomings.
I know my children are intelligent and capable. By holding them accountable, I’m helping them acquire a crucial life skill—doing things right the first time saves time and effort in the long run. They don’t need to be perfect, but I do expect them to put forth their best effort. Even if they fall short, there’s a noticeable difference between genuine effort and laziness.
I don’t demand perfection but rather effort: the best they can do in every situation. They understand this from a young age, which is why my seven-year-old recently declared with pride that he “used his whole ass” on a school project. Perhaps I’ll adopt that as my mantra moving forward. It’s far better to use your whole ass than to be an ass hole.
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In summary, teaching children to put forth their best effort in chores and homework not only instills a sense of responsibility but also prepares them for future challenges. By not settling for mediocrity, parents can help their children reach their full potential.
