When it comes to flirting, I often feel like I’m stuck using tactics suited for a 4th grader. The art of batting eyelashes or coyly handing out my number eludes me. Honestly, I’d find it far more comfortable to challenge someone by kicking them in the leg or shoving them off a snow hill, yelling, “Who’s the king of the mountain now?!” To me, that’s where the real allure lies.
Clearly, I’m not the most skilled flirter, and there are certainly experts out there. But the real question isn’t who flirts well; it’s this: does flirting equate to cheating? The answer? A resounding no!
I honestly don’t get all the fuss. If flirting is considered cheating, we first need to nail down what cheating truly means. I would love for someone to provide a clear definition. You’d expect Merriam-Webster to have the answer, but their definition of cheating as “being sexually unfaithful” just leads to more confusion when you look up “sexual” and “unfaithful.” Thanks for nothing, Merriam and Webster!
Catherine at Brides offers a vague take: “If it feels like cheating, infidelity, or adultery to you, then it is.” Such reasoning feels absurd. So, if your partner feels uncomfortable watching you squeeze melons in the grocery store, does that count as cheating? Or if you’re engrossed in a cooking show? It seems like some people could label anything as infidelity.
One source, dressed in a casual tank and gold chain, claims that “flirting is trying on the single hat while in a relationship.” While that may apply to some situations, it still begs the question: if we can’t agree on a definition of cheating, how can we reach a consensus on flirting? We simply can’t.
According to another resource, there are five types of flirting. The Playful Flirt enjoys banter, while the Physical Flirt engages in body language such as leaning in or playing with their hair. The Traditional Flirt is more reserved, the Sincere Flirt discusses deeper topics, and the Polite Flirt focuses on building connections without crossing boundaries.
I can relate to the first two types, but the others leave me baffled. When is a polite conversation about literature considered flirtatious? If you want to call that flirting, go ahead, but it just sounds tedious to me. Clearly, I have a lot to learn.
Urban Dictionary adds to the mix with definitions that range from “innocently overly friendly” to “dinking around with the opposite sex.” When you lump together actions like complimentary dances and simple smiles, it’s clear that the range of what constitutes flirting is vast.
Therefore, claiming that flirting is outright cheating is as absurd as equating a game of mahjong with infidelity. Sure, if you add some suggestive movements, mahjong could become quite enticing—but it can also just be a friendly game. Context is everything.
To wrap things up, my husband insists I’m an unrelenting flirt. I don’t see it that way unless poking someone in the eye counts as flirting. His misunderstanding shows that he, like many, has a skewed perception of what flirting really is.
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