By: Veronica Lane
Updated: Aug. 30, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 30, 2023
If you’re not someone who believes that having children is a journey of self-discovery, you’ve likely come to realize that motherhood offers little room for tranquility. You may have accepted that a soul-searching getaway or mastering meditation is out of reach while you juggle diaper changes and navigate toy-strewn floors. However, there are ways to bring a sliver of that dream to life.
Recognizing the Signs
Let’s pause for a moment to recognize the signs that indicate you could use some grounding:
- You envision yourself cycling through Bali but are instead dodging a toddler zooming past you on a scooter.
- You yearn for a breathtaking view, yet today’s highlight was your 3-year-old’s impressive bathroom achievement.
- You crave an Italian feast, but after binge-watching cooking shows, you’re still in sweatpants, unable to so much as boil water.
- That annoying toy keeps belting out its tune, and you fantasize about smashing it with a box of pasta.
- Your self-care routine has gone so far south that you could weave a yoga mat from your stray hairs.
Reality can be surprising. You studied the parenting manuals! You imagined gently rocking your little ones to sleep, singing lullabies, and meditating in peace. You thought you’d be doing yoga during nap time, feeling serene. But no one warned you about the chaos, the occasional rage, or the impossibility of calming your mind with a to-do list buzzing in your head and a baby monitor at your side. Welcome to the whirlwind.
Channeling Your Inner “Eat, Pray, Love”
But don’t lose hope! Here’s how to channel your inner “Eat, Pray, Love” while managing the basics of life—eating, sleeping, and the rest.
Embrace the Tantrums
When your child is having a meltdown over a Band-Aid choice, resist the urge to fight it. Instead, accept the chaos and let it wash over you. While it can be infuriating, try not to let your frustration boil over.
Accept Your Current Reality
So, you lost it and hit the wall metaphorically? That’s okay. Use this moment to practice self-compassion. Take a breath and focus on your surroundings. Just as you’d slowly pull your head from a wall, gently reorient yourself to the present. Acceptance is a pathway to inner calm.
Connect with Others
When the phone rings and it’s your grandmother, do you answer and wake the kids, or let it go to voicemail? It’s a no-win situation, but remember: this isn’t a competition. Many parents are navigating similar chaos, and it’s essential to know you’re not alone (and Grandma loves you no matter what).
Avoid Overindulging
If it’s mid-afternoon and you’ve skipped meals, remind yourself that many individuals on a spiritual journey fast for extended periods. Buddha once said, “Life is suffering,” not “Life is bingeing on pasta with friends.”
Utilize Water Therapy
It’s bath time! Fill the tub enough to get clean, while your little one splashes water everywhere. Picture the chaos as ocean waves and let this imagery help you find stillness within. A quiet mind will serve you well when making quick decisions, like whether to rush your toddler to the bathroom or stop your infant from gnawing on a flip-flop (hint: a little dirt never hurt anyone!).
Release Worries About the Future
While you may not have time for a fortune teller, reassure yourself of a few truths: you’ll live a long, eventful life, change countless diapers, and yes, someone will inevitably poop on the rug. Remember, “Love thrives where family feels comfortable enough to be themselves, even in less-than-ideal moments.”
Celebrate Small Victories
Feeling overwhelmed while trying to meditate? Consider this: have you ever tried to store preschool contact numbers while juggling a squirming infant and a toddler in meltdown mode? Celebrate that victory; it’s worth a little cheer.
Count Your Blessings
At day’s end, you’re surrounded by magnificent little beings who adore you and are peacefully sleeping. Your adventure might not resemble the “finding yourself” experience you envisioned, but you’ve discovered resilience, love, patience, hope, and strength. You’re in control of your journey, and you answer to no one.
So, cherish your evening of peace. Wait, was that a sound from the baby monitor? Oh no!
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In summary, motherhood may not be the peaceful journey you envisioned, but through acceptance, connection, and gratitude, you can find moments of joy and serenity amid the chaos.